"Underneath I was hoping someone would ask me how I was"

About: King's Mill Hospital / General surgery

(as the patient),

After being admitted for a minor op I was not feeling too good.

I did not sleep too well and the 1st cup of tea at about 6am I only drank a couple of mouthfuls. Breakfast time arrived and I declined. I had nothing to eat or drink for the rest of the day.

Depresion was getting a hold. I broke down. I spoke only 2 words till it was time to go home. A nurse came to change my dressing I had tears in my eyes so I hid my face. I did not want anyone to see my pain, but underneath I was hoping someone would ask me how I was.

I really would like to apologise for the way I was - it was not the nurses' fault I felt so low. Why was I so depressed? The nuses were walking through the ward and talking to the other patients but I could not talk and no one spoke to me.

11 years ago my partner died after a not too dissimilar op. Was this the reason? The close association of those years gone by?

For almost 9 hours I must have been a nonentity as I lay on my bed. I really am very sorry for the way I conducted myself.

The medical care was 1st class and I would especially like to apologise to the nurse who changed my dressing, to say I was not very responsive would be an understatement. She did a very good job under trying conditions. If she had realised how low I was feeling I'm sure she would have done a good a job on my mindset as she did on my wound.

It was time to leave and as I thanked the nurse on the desk for looking after me she looked away, I really must have been that bad. I'm home now and thinking I hope I never have to come into hospital again under a cloud of depression. I will not mention the ward name. I do not want to be recognised but will thank the staff for caring for my wound.

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