"Child birth at arrowe park"

My third baby was stuck in the star gazing position? (So I was told) the midwife knew his head wasn't in right position but seemed happy he would move! I was in pain all night before coming in but was only two cm dilated. My other two children were born under three hours and not much pain until last hour, my third was horrific and I did tell the midwife.

However I had gas and air after three hours then the pain relief in my leg after 5hrs (an round 6/7pm) and still no change and I had been pushing for two to three hours! ! When the other midwife on duty took over she was shocked looking at the state of me after reading my notes too she asked why I had not been given more pain relief, asked how long I had been pushing for and place her fingers in to examine as I pushed and said I was giving all I had!

Went out room and a senior midwife came in I pushed twice as I was examined and I was told to try not push at all as his neck could break! ! I then had a panic attack I was rushed through to the emergency room! No wheel chairs were available so I had to walk an stop in between pushing as my body was doing it naturally every 3minutes and I was fighting against it, the midwife who took over couldn't apologise enough and she said I had to walk as it was a rush to get me in!

I had to have anaesthetic to numb my down below area waited two mins then the doctor had to insert his hand and turn the baby at which point I ripped and screamed then the hand up again to put cup on and then I was cut which I could actually hear and feel and screamed again! ( I didn't make a sound with my other two babies) then he was pulled out an cup flew off so I pushed him out myself.

The doctor was great as he got my baby out alive, his head was black and blue not from cup but from my pelvis bashing against his head through hours of pushing in the wrong position. It was swollen an midwives kept a good eye on him an were surprised he didn't need pain relief but he was content on me all night. I was left extremely sore an many stitches and a lot of blood loss.

I have had severe PND for 9 months now, anxiety attacks, could not breast feed, awful night terrors about being raped and fear of dying! It's been horrendous and I feel the midwife at the start failed me, all human and make mistakes but I do wish to complain and don't know how to go about it!