"I felt let down, punished for being mentally ill +..."
Posted by Anonymous
Hello, I feel a little bad for actually deciding to come and do this after all this time, I am 19 years old and came to chalkhill hospital very poorly and distressed when I was 17 years old. I was transferred from a another hospital. I was in the other hospital for 7 months and had gained some strong and everlasting attachments with it. Having been in a high secure unit at the other hospital, being transferred to chalkhill was extremely daunting. I didn't really get much of a strong and opening welcome. I had been on 1:1 observations, and had tied a ligature in the other hospital just the night before I arrived to chalkhill. None of the staff acknowledged this, and I was left to do what I wanted to on my own free will. I was feeling suicidal, hallucinating, having minor flashbacks and felt strongly like self harming, I was unsettled and distraute and the staff were more caring about the other patients, and sort of abandoned me... I felt alone and unwanted. One of the staff members, whom I really didn't like because of the remarks she made said to me "You are not as ill as some other patients, and we need to be looking after the really ill ones, now please stop wasting our time" at this point I felt suicidal, and like there was nothing to live for... I thought chalkhill were going to help me, but I felt like this wasn't going to happen after that certain staff member made that horrible remark. Anyway, I was discharged when I clearly was not ready for it! it felt like they just wanted me out of the door as quick as possible, and even at the age of 19 i'm still almost as ill as I was in chalkhill. I was getting better in the hospital I was transferred from, but chalkhill made everything worse again and took me back right to the beginning of recovery... so, all of the hard work the other hospital did with me, was chucked into the bin because chalkhill decided to wipe the slate clean. I'm dissapointed in the staff, and dissapointed in myself for ending up there in the first place. I know it was over a year ago, but i only just got the courage to speak about it now because it made me so angry , stressed and upset. Is there any possibility I could speak with someone about this now? just to lay it to rest, as it's been haunting me everyday since discharged. Maybe making a complaint? sorry I left this so late. Thank you.