"Feeling patronised and spoken over"

This was my first non-pregnancy consultation in a number of years. I was nervous as I had developed white coat syndrome in pregnancy and birth last year. This was evident in my raised blood pressure and pulse at today’s clinic.

The doctor reassured me I didn’t need to be nervous. They said my excellent level of control was so rare to the other HCP shadowing him today but did not say well done or equivalent to me. Apparently my control is too tight which I questioned. It felt like there was a lack of understanding of how living with type 1 diabetes actually looks, especially with the kinds of questions they were asking me for which I couldn’t give the answer they wanted.

They proceeded to tell me the targets I wasn’t meeting but did not give me advice how to meet them. As most diabetes care is, there was little individualisation and lots of textbook work. Diabetes care could be improved massively with questions like ‘how are you?’, ‘what are your personal goals?’, ‘how can we help you meet them?’, ‘what would you like to learn?’, ‘would you like any advice?’ etc. It appears solely focussed on number crunching and there is no consideration for mental and emotional burden of the condition.

It is disheartening when your achievements and knowledge aren’t recognised. I always feeling like I have to impress or seek validation from HCPs. I am never good enough. The doctor in particular continued to interrupt me speaking and spoke to me in a patronising way. I felt so much relief getting out of there.