"I started on a more meaningful path"

I started on a more meaningful path of stopping drinking for good. Alcohol was a large part of my growing up. I am in my early 50's. Family and friends of my parents socialised at home regularly. My father was a regular drinker and it was evident that he drank too much, too often. UK holidays centred on pubs in the evenings. I began experimenting with alcohol as a teenager at senior school with friends, this was normal back then. By the time I was 21, I was a home owner with a good job as was my partner. We regularly drank in local pubs but not often to excess although when I did get drunk I was unpredictable and became unreasonable and behaved irresponsibly and often embarrassed myself. By the age of 30 I was married with 1 child drinking in my own home became a daily habit with my husband, not excessively, as we didn’t go out much with a baby that didn’t sleep!! Wine and spirits. I began suffering with anxiety around this time, panic attacks and depression. Probably postnatal but undiagnosed. Fast forward to age 33 and 2 children, husband has an affair, I started drinking more as a stress reliever. I wasn’t getting into trouble or upsetting anyone at this point. This settled down and drinking excessively was only at parties and school moms get together. In 2010 now with 3 children. My husband had a second affair and that is when my drinking really got out of control but I would not admit this and masked a lot of it from friends and family

I only really realised my drinking was a problem when my partner said he was moving out until I got better and I could get help and prove I could change. Another factor in it was when my daughter disowned me, I was maybe in a bit of denial about the issues my alcohol usage was causing me. Having my loved ones refusing to speak to me was an eye opener.

Thinking about the problems my drinking has caused- there’s a long list of things, putting myself in dangerous situations, injuring myself falling over in the street involving paramedics, falling down stairs, hitting head on marble fireplace falling over, arguing with ex-husband involving police, being sick in public, failed relationships with other boyfriends, self-harming, attempted suicide x 2, damaging belongings - involving police, embarrassing my friends and family frequently, acting irresponsibly, refusing help, being off sick from work, being abusive to partner and upsetting children being noisy late at night. It makes me feel very ashamed of how I have previously acted. But I do feel so much better for admitting I had a problem and finding help.

I did try many things to control my alcohol usage, but wasn’t really successful or if it did work I didn’t stick to it. I cut down on intake, stopped drinking spirits, stopped for a few days up to a week or two but slipped back into old habits, I even handed over my bank cards to prevent purchasing alcohol. But as I say, these things never lasted long. It was only after I spoke to my GP and they referred me to CGL that I started on a more meaningful path of stopping drinking for good. I was referred to CGL by my GP, originally I was advised to make a self-referral but did not do this- procrastination and not ready to admit I had a problem.

The service has changed my life, I cannot rate CGL and Intuitive Thinking Skills enough. The volunteers made a big impact on me and proved the treatment and skills taught through the education really works, the honesty of the trainers is remarkable. They are ALL so friendly and supportive. There are so many different courses and tools to suit everyone. And the constant support and reassurance is invaluable especially when you can contact the team easily with any questions I could not be 50 something days clean without CGL and Intuitive, I am inspired to explore more courses or resit some of them which is useful.

Going forward I am using the skills Intuitive gave me, those skills are now embedded with me, my IRON FIST says NO. Understanding how the brain works was a light bulb moment for me. I can control IT and IT does not control me. I know to avoiding procrastinating, to make better choice, I have also been reducing stress levels. I have definitely been recognising my addictive desire, triggers and have been planning ahead. Also I love the transposing it is a really good skill.

Since completing the course my life has changed so much, my optimism, health, diet, weight, relationships have all improved. I have a positive outlook and I’m enjoying life. Having more money in the bank, or less debt! Also my anxiety and depression is vastly improved.

For the future I plan to stay abstinent, continue rebuilding relationships and carry on education and learning new skills and hobbies