"Antrim area scubu"

I had my son eight weeks early in 2020. When my son was being cared for in the NICU everything was great and the nurses were wonderful. I felt that they really understood the trauma i had been through, that they understood my worries and fears for my son and that they respected my role as his mother and primary caregiver. I was included in every aspect of his care, was informed of all the details of his treatment and asked for my consent and input.

When my son moved to the scbu there was a dramatic and traumatic change in the treatment I received. I overheard members of the nursing team talking in derogatory terms about some of the mothers with babies in the unit. I witnessed tiny babies being left to cry and even heard one nurse openly slating the concept of kangaroo care. All the guidance I read both in preparation for becoming a mother and once my son was born recommended this type of care as the gold standard. I was aware that all babies but in particular premature babies benefit immensely from as much skin to skin contact as possible and that it is impossible to "spoil" a baby by holding them too much. This staff member suggested that if I continued kangaroo care my son would be clingy and spoilt. To hear this from a professional was extremely confusing for me especially as a new first time mother trying my best to bond with and nurture my child. I was discouraged from breastfeeding my child on demand by the same staff member, and I was advised to leave my child in his incubator. Again this was contrary to all the research I had done in advance regarding breastfeeding. This incident completely broke me. I started having panic attacks and no longer felt welcome in the SCBU. I had plans to sit with my son during the night but was told to leave and that they don't let parents stay overnight. However, I witnessed many other parents staying overnight. I felt like because I was clearly a single parent I was treated differently from other two parent families.

I told another SCBU staff member about the incident and they asked if they could speak to a senior member of staff about it and I agreed. Unfortunately, this did not help. This staff member spoke to me and said that it was the same as if someone was raped and came forward years later to report it - that not much is going to be done about it. Using a sexual assault analogy seemed incredibly inappropriate to me and the fact that my real and legitimate concerns were dismissed so cruelly was very upsetting.

The time my son had left in the SCBU was absolute torture with there was little to no discussion with me about discharge plans for my son. I felt every day that there was no end date in sight. When I did manage to get some discussion about a possible discharge plan for my son (at my insistence) I was told that there was no problem, and that I could stay at the weekend to establish breastfeeding. This was after I pushed the issue quite forcefully (or as forcefully as I could manage given that I was exhausted, distressed, had just been through major surgery and was very concerned about treatment I and my child were receiving). I was incredibly confused and concerned by the fact that I alone, and not the medical professionals, was left to consider a plan for my son's discharge. I was then told I might not get to stay because another mother might be staying in the room. Staff offered no explanation as to why the other mother was being prioritised nor did they offer an alternative plan to allow me to care for my son.

I really feel that the treatment we received in the SCBU was substantially below standard and even now, two years later, I find it difficult to reflect on that time without becoming very upset.