"Care of my mum"

my story is very intricate as there are several elements to consider. I'm not quite sure where to begin.

My mother has end stage cancer but also had a diagnosis of dementia. Unfortunately I was told by the team(MDT) that I could not look after her in her own home and agreed that the best place for her was a care home. I thought I was doing the right thing.

Having settled my mother on the first day by the second day I was informed that she had not had a good night and had fallen. I was assured it wasn't serious.

From that day on it just got worse, the problems just went on and on. Mum was diagnosed with a UTI. She was given a course of antibiotics, it was worse after three days and the antibiotics were changed. My mum had also been put on something for agitation, she was on a number of other medications.

All through the next few days and weeks they kept telling me my mum was disrupting the home due to her behaviour so they put her on another sedative. I tried to tell them including the doctor that my mum was in pain and if they would stop looking at my mum as dementia patient with behavioural problems and saw her for what it actually was - cancer and lack of required level of analgesia then her behaviour would actually improve.

It took the doctor quite a while to come round to listening to my pleading but eventually put the mophine up by another 10mg to 40mg twice a day. Within another week or so the same behaviour started, they then realised that the care home staff were unsure if mum was getting the required amount as she would push them away.

The doc agreed with me that she should now have a patch.

After all this time(four months)my mother is now a poor wee soul, she can't wash/feed/speak/drink/dress/walk properly, these are just some of the things my mother can no longer do for herself.

I felt that when my mum walked through the doors of the care home she would be cared for but four months down the line if feels as if being in the care home has accelerated my mothers' dementia to a point that has robbed me of her last months.

My query, what can I do about this and how will I be able to stop anyone else having the same experience