"Birth experience"

I arrived at the hospital and went to triage because of contractions. Staff here were amazing, I waited here until there was room in the labour ward. The midwife who was assisting me in the labour ward was lovely, very pleasant. As my labour progressed, things started to change. I found the midwife to be extremely rude to me and it didn’t seem as if they had even glanced at my birthing plan. I fully understand that not everything can go as you would wish, but there were little things that should of happened that didn’t, and there was no reason they couldn’t happen. For example, I wanted baby placed straight onto me after birth and delayed cord clamping, but as soon as baby was out he was getting wiped down with a towel and the cord was cut before I knew it.

I am still so disappointed with my experience, it’s been nearly 5 months and I still find myself getting extremely upset about how things went. The midwife told me that if I didn’t start pushing properly, she would need to get forceps and other equipment. The idea of this terrified me. This was my second baby and I did lots of research into pushing, knowing when to push and I didn't feel I needed to push when I was being made to. I was told to stop making noises because it would give me a sore throat - but this was a way I had found to help me cope. I became uncomfortable during the labour and birth because I felt like I was wasting the midwife’s time. They were rushing me to push the baby out. I understand that these might be tactics that can be used to encourage a woman to push, but for me it felt unfair and terrifying. During the labour the midwife asked me if I gave consent for my baby to be given the vitamin K injection. I asked what it was and if there were any risks, and was told that if I say no a doctor will come in and talk me into saying yes anyway so I might as well say yes now. I hadn’t said no - I had asked for information so that I could make an informed decision. 

I am deeply disappointed with myself for not speaking up for myself at the time. I am also disappointed with the way I was treated by this one midwife. If I could go back and do it all again so that I was able to do things how I wanted to I would.