"No attempt was made to preserve my dignity"

I was taken to Dumfries Royal Infirmary for an emergency gynaecological surgery. I expressed my concern with doctors that I had PTSD from a previous pelvic exam when I was young that classified as assault. I specifically told them that it was triggering to me to have doctors around my lower half. 

I was told the surgery would involve opening my abdomen. They did not tell me that they would be inserting a catheter while I was asleep. I awoke after the surgery with no underwear on, completely exposed, with two male doctors looking at me from below my hips, and surrounded by other nurses. I tried to cover myself but was too stiff to move. 

The nurses then started changing my gown which meant I was completely naked, surrounded by people, unable to move and unable to speak properly due to a sore throat caused by the tube inserted during surgery. One nurse shoved a sanitary pad between my legs.

I have nightmares about this. No one told me I would have a catheter inserted and they knew I had PTSD. I felt so exposed and vulnerable and that feeling has stuck with me. I can’t shake the humiliation that all those people, including male staff, were stood looking at my naked body and genitals. No attempt was made to preserve my dignity or honour my wishes to keep covered. I feel totally violated and it is something that never should have happened.

After the surgery, my labia swelled enormously and turned purple. I was given no explanation for this except that someone might have nicked it with the catheter. 

During my recovery period in the hospital, I felt largely ignored by the nurses. I couldn’t get out of my bed unassisted, and yet when I pressed the buzzer it would sometimes take them half an hour to come to my room. It was extremely upsetting, frustrating, and isolating. 

I told the nurses that I was vegan and was given meals such as plain white bread. 

I knew this experience was awful, but only when I had another surgery elsewhere did I realise how terrible it really was. The surgeons at Dumfries somehow missed a mass on my left ovary and I needed further surgery to have that removed. I had the surgery at GRI and the staff talked me through everything in detail. I told them of my experience at DRI and they were extremely shocked. When I awoke from my surgery at GRI I was completely covered and comfortable. I didn’t have any bruising from the catheter (which I was actually told about this time and was handled with dignity) and I didn’t even have a sore throat from the tube. 

I still have nightmares about waking up from this surgery. I feel so dirty and violated from what I experienced and none of the staff seemed to care at all. I understand the insertion of a catheter is routine for them, but it is not routine for me. I wasn’t told of it at all and they knew I had PTSD. One staff member simply shrugged and told me I signed a form that said they could perform whatever they needed to during surgery and walked away while I was crying. The whole experience was unbelievably distressing and I am experiencing repercussions from this in my personal life and my mental health.