"I’ve been dealing with untreated ADHD all my life"

After struggling most of my life with mental health issues, and watching my wee brother take his own life, I shut myself off from the world for many years. I had a heart attack in my mid 30's and have ongoing heart problems due to medical errors at that time. I grew up in poverty as did my family and still are, we struggled all our days like most in our area. So after speaking to a psychiatrist nurse a few years ago, I spoke about my background when I was a child. I had a lot of problems full primary school years. Turns out I probably had ADHD all my life and dealt with it in my own way. That caused me many problems in life, struggling with keeping jobs and relationships.

I went to Woodlands for the first time 3 years ago as I was struggling mentally. I feel little or no help given, just a tablet that's meant for children.

I’ve been dealing with untreated ADHD all my life. It was me that diagnosed myself after a life of anger depression anxiety, fear and confusion, pushing people away, lost job after job, had relationship issues - single now for 10 years as it's easier. I ended up locking myself away from the world. I spoke to a friend 3 years ago who said she was 100% sure I had ADHD but said I had other issues also. I know that to be the case, but I just can’t get my thoughts into words sometimes.

I feel like my feelings are locked up too. I last called woodlands 3-4 weeks ago as I was really struggling. My life felt pointless and I was sick of living the way I do. I get to the appointment and after a chat about my two sons who have same symptoms as me and trying to help them I was then asked what do I think should happen next.

I just went mental and screamed that I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know - because I really don’t know and I felt pressured when this was put on me. I came to them for help, had even diagnosed myself with ADHD but I know there’s more wrong than just that. I feel like I've been fighting demons every day of my life. So when they looked at me when I was like this they should maybe have thought, this guy is struggling. But no, instead it feels like I was barred from mental health because I have mental health issues, and they either won’t recognise this or are too blind to do so.

The lack of care I’ve had the last 3 years is a joke. I’m no further forward than the day I walked in there. I’m worse now. I feel I can’t get any help at all, so what’s the point. It’s a sad day when a guy with mental health issues even he can’t understand gets barred from mental health services for getting upset at lack of care he is getting. Was it easier to push me away than actually help me?