"Birthing partners treated unfairly."

Firstly I would like to mention that all staff on Ward 9a Raigmore Hospital are absolutely fantastic. This is not a complaint about the care I received from the midwifery team. I could not fault that one bit.

I was originally sent to ward 9a in March 2022 for suspected pre-eclampsia. My community midwife arranged for this to happen and made an appointment for me. When we arrived (my husband and I) he was refused access. He was told he cannot get in to the ward and would have to remain outside. This was the case for every father/birthing partners due to the lack of space with social distancing guidelines. To me this was outrageous, I felt like he was totally pushed to the side, this was his baby as much as it was mine but he was totally and utterly excluded.

I was an anxious mess, this was our first baby, and IVF baby that we waited years and years for and something wasn't quite right with the pregnancy so I was in panic mode and didn't have my husband there to support me. It was awful. He sat in the car for 6 and a half hours (whilst I waited to see a doctor). I was then admitted for the night - where he still wasn't allowed to be with me as visiting hours had passed. 

When I returned the following week  for bloods and further checks, again, he was not allowed in. When my bloods came back we all got a scare and I was told I would be kept in and they would have to perform a section 2 days later, which was an absolutely massive shock to me as I was only 34 weeks (this plan changed but this was the plan at the time). Understandably, I was an emotional wreck and where was my husband? Not by my side where he should be, of course. Waiting outside again - at the time I needed him most during the pregnancy. 

I am writing this in hope that these 'rules' can be reviewed and fathers/birthing partners can be allowed in to ward 9a to support their partners and be included in the decisions of their child! Getting a scare is bad enough but having to sit there on your own for hours on end, with no support I feel is just criminal. And my husband having to sit outside and not be included in anything is just awful. It's like fathers are forgotten about. I understand covid is still there and we still need to be cautious but everyone seems to have frogotton about the impact situations like this have on someone's mental health. The worry, stress and anxiety we both experienced could have been greatly reduced if he was allowed in with me. I felt I was so much more stressed without him - which wouldn't have helped anything! 

I remained in hospital  for a few weeks and gave birth to a prefect little boy. I can not fault the staff themselves, they were absolutely fantastic throughout my stay, wards 9a, 9b,10,labour suite and SCBU. After a 3 week stay you get to know people and I couldn't have asked for better Midwives, Nurses, Auxiliaries and Nursery Nurses looking after me.