"Lack of empathy or support regarding personality disorders"

I had been diagnosed with a mixed personality disorder. It was initially a borderline personality disorder I was diagnosed with but this was later changed when I requested dialectical behavioural therapy. Now my mixed personality disorder is perceived as being firmly untreatable. 

I don't dispute that I have a personality disorder. I never have. I possess all the symptoms associated with one. I experience abandonment issues. I value and devalue those closest to me and in the process have pushed them away before they hurt or abandoned me.

However, these were only a few components of the troubles that I was experiencing. The real troubling symptoms were in relation to my complex post-traumatic stress disorder.  I was sexually abused as a child, I was bullied by my peers, badly beaten and neglected by my parents. I was a troubled and traumatised child. I eventually went to prison and when I emerged I was even more troubled. That's when the decision was made by the personality disorder and homeless team to diagnose me with a personality disorder.

However, things have improved greatly since then. I have been living here in the west end for several years now, lived a crime-free existence and even succeeded in attending a top university. However, every day is a real struggle. Managing my relationships is a real struggle. Coping with all these unpleasant thoughts and sensations is incredibly difficult. I do sometimes feel suicidal. I do sometimes question my own existence. I do sometimes have intrusive thoughts.

I need a structure in which to work within, to correct them. I feel that there is a lack of empathy or support regarding personality disorders.