"My missed miscarriage experience"

Attended our 12 week scan and was given the news our baby had no heartbeat. While having the scan I was rudely spoken to when having an internal scan as when the room fell silent I started to panic, once the news had been given me and my partner both felt numb. I was given a packet of wipes and told I needed to get myself ready then we was taken into a side room. We was told a midwife would be in shortly, 40 minutes later after being stuck in this room with no idea what was going on or what happened next a midwife entered.

Already angry we had to wait this long they showed little compassion and handed me a card with a number on and appointment time, we was then handed a bunch of leaflets about miscarriage and termination options as I had suffered a missed miscarriage, this was the last thing I wanted to be given when the news hadn’t digested. I then had to walk out and past the women awaiting their scans knowing I had just lost our baby.

The next morning we attended the early pregnancy unit the nurses and students, healthcare workers we couldn’t fault the compassion they showed was unbelievable especially Michelle, she made everything easier even when I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. While being told my options in detail we discussed my concerns and I was booked in for surgery on the following Monday, pre op was completed and I was sent home.

On the day of surgery we arrived early was shown straight to the room we was in for the day and I was allowed my partner to be with me the entire time which was my only comfort at the time. People came in to do different things, and explain what was happening. I had a med student take my bloods and she was really understanding about my nerves as this was my first ever surgery. When being taken down to theatre I got very emotional and when taken into the theatre room to be prepped I was crying my eyes out full of nerves and scared. The ODP student at the time could see how anxious I was and offered me his hand to hold while they tried to cannulate me which is not easy at the best of times. Once I was cannulated I was put to sleep and woke up in recovery. Once awake and obs stable I was brought straight back to my room to be with my partner. I was then told if I could urinate, eat and drink I could go home. I was told if I needed the toilet to press the buzzer for assistance.

Once I pressed the buzzer a staff member entered but wasn’t sure if I was allowed up yet, I explained I really needed to go to the toilet and if no one was going to help me then my partner would. Michelle came straight in helped me to the toilet and calmed my anxiety about the blood I lost on the way. I was then told lunch would be round soon. I was so hungry after starving for surgery lunch didn’t arrive for nearly an hour and when you’ve fasted for over 12 hours waiting another hour isn’t easy, food should come round when your ready to eat.

Once everything was completed I was told I could be discharged. I have to say the care and support shown on one of the hardest days was above outstanding but the care and compassion shown in the first few hours of being told heartbreaking news was awful and had put me off attending Jessops for any future pregnancies after being made to feel like another number I will never forget that experience.