"Traumatic birth experience at Derriford"

This story of my daughter's birth was 2.5 years ago now, but it's taken me that long to process what happened and my aim is to try and let the hospital know so they can prevent other women from having the same terribly traumatic birth I had.

I was 41+12 so was started off with a pessary which didn't work, so hours later I was given another. During this time I was allocated a bed on the Argyll Ward.

The thing that stays in my mind strongest about this night is 4 other women in the same Ward and the women next to me being in labour begging for the midwives to take her seriously as her last birth came very quickly. They didn't take her seriously and she had the baby without any midwives there, her mum delivered it and it was my husband who alerted a midwife that she had already had it, and the remaining 3 other women and myself stayed awake all night shocked and terrified with what we were about to endure. The next morning I was in labour and to be honest terrified. Here I was to stay for the worst time of my life.

The midwife on the ward supposedly looking after me told me I was not allowed to go into the labour ward until I was 4cm but I could walk around if I wanted to. Once I got going properly I couldn't move, the pain was so intense. My waters broke and I was sick twice.

All I was allowed was paracetamol and diamorphine (which made me sick). I begged for gas and air as I'd had a good experience with it before, but I was flatly refused (even though I brought a friend into the same hospital a&e and they provided him with gas and air immediately).

I was so desperate to get the flipping gas and air I begged my husband to get the midwife to check me whenever he managed to speak to her, she kept telling me I wasn't far enough and eventually told me I was 3-4cm. (About 17 hours later) I couldn't believe my ears. I thought that was me sorted!

But nope I was to wait longer as the labour ward was full, and still wasn't allowed gas and air. When there was finally space in the labour ward I was wheeled down. As I was going down I noticed 3 empty rooms. Why on earth couldn't they put me in there so the poor other 3 women on the ward didn't have to listen to a 2nd birth? When I got to the labour ward I was told I was actually 6cm so had done the hardest bit of labour in front of 3 other women without any effective pain relief.

As soon as I was in the labour ward I was fine. Finally gas and air. If the midwife had just made that 1 helpful move of me having gas and air my whole birth experience would be a different story.

I then had a different midwife who was lovely but a student nurse, which I had specifically asked not to have. She noticed this on my birth notes and said 'oh do you not want a student midwife,' by which stage I was completely out of it and my husband felt rude saying no to her face and was terrified I'd be put back to the main ward until a fully trained midwife was available. I laboured fine apart from having strep B and a temperature (not surprised after begging the midwife to keep checking me just so I could get some gas and air.)

Baby came out and was OK, placenta didn't come straight away so midwife pulled the chord and snapped it, causing a haemorrhage. I lost 1.5 pints of blood as a result and this then caused me to have to go to theatre to have placenta manually removed. I held my baby for probably a minute or so then was whisked away to have placenta removed.

A few days later I left the hospital only to come back the next day because baby lost too much birth weight. We were in the neonatal ward then and I genuinely have only got complimentary things to say about that ward, they were amazing.

I thought all my troubles were over... but 4 months later I was still bleeding and feeling so rubbish. I knew something wasn't right so went to the doctors who eventually managed to get me a scan. I had retained placenta so needed an operation to remove this.

To cut a long story short, I got to the operation day, turned up to find 3 women and a man ready to operate on me while I was going to be wide awake. Just when you think you have you dignity back, you lose it all again. The man that I believed was going to perform it (as he was the top doctor) was there just to oversee it and yet another student performed the operation and I got a hole in my womb and the operation couldn't be carried out. I bled internally and had to stay the night (not ideal with a small baby) but we got our own room then and lots of nice nurses!

I felt so weak for the first year of my daughter's life and I cannot get the memories of that awful ward and experience out of my mind.

I've tried to seek help with the hospital and saw someone only last week who could supposedly help me for any future births in ensuring I at least get my own room, but she just said in the most patronising way "sorry its all out of my control, all I can promise is no student nurse."

I'm now left with a permanent scar in my womb and a permanent scar in my brain.