"I felt desperate but at long last ready."

I first started drinking at the age of 16, this was simply due to curiosity and the search of excitement. At the age of 20 my personal circumstances changed when I separated with my partner, no longer having the responsibility of being a full time parent, I began drinking regularly. Within a couple of years I was consuming alcohol every day and I rarely woke without a hangover. I now believe that this was the stage of my life in which I succumbed to active addiction.

I realised this had become a problem when mornings became a struggle for me due to the extent of my drinking the previous day. I rarely attended work and when I did I was often late or counting down the minutes until I could have a drink. Over the next 25 years I remarried, had children together and even purchased a home, however due to my dependency, cracks within the relationships I had built began to break down and as a result of this my wife left me taking our two children with her. My problem with drinking has cost me time with them. My eldest son now has a family of his own and for the last 5 years of my addiction I did not see him or my grandchildren. Both my mental and physical health has suffered and in 2018 I had a heart attack which led to me needing surgery. I’ve had trips to the hospital from falls whilst under the influence. My health in general has been deteriorating over a period of time.

I did try to gain control in the early stages but for many years my attempts to stop drinking were minimal and not serious. In 2021 I realised that it was time to tackle my addiction, I felt desperate but at long last ready. I tried many different treatment services including AA, after attending a few meetings I quickly saw this was not for me. I discovered intuitive recovery through a recommendation from a friend who works for CGL.

My attendance on the course was both stimulating and gave me a new perspective to tackling my addiction and I have since signed up to sit another course (Skills tu life). The course teaches many skills and tools that I am able to use in day to day life. I now have an understanding of how the brain works in regards to my addictive desires, I am able to dismiss the small portion of my brain making suggestions in times of weakness and I find this extremely effective. I often apply this approach to my life in general, remembering the power I have now gained and the notion that I can control my brain and thoughts.

I have now been abstinent for 4 and a half months and consider myself to be in a good place. I now possess a positive attitude in regards to my new life. I am making conscious effort to plan what I am doing and this is enabling me to replace the time I used to spend drinking with more meaningful activities. In due course I hope to return to employment and have begun seeking out suitable volunteer work. In my spare time I am rediscovering past interests such as walking, exploring the city I now live in and art and photography related activities. I have recently seen my children and their families, we have had some tough but meaningful conversations about rebuilding our relationships which is priceless to me. Simply put my plans for the next phase of my life are onwards and upwards.