"I’ve done all I can to help myself"

Three (almost four) years ago, I was voluntarily admitted to hospital for attempted suicide & self harm. I was supposed to be safe, but I was able to make an attempt on the ward I stayed at. Then I was promised a home treatment team at discharge to prevent another admission - I was discharged by home treatment the same day I was assessed. Why? Because my family had moved whilst I was in hospital, and I no longer came under their postcode… all I was left with was a sheet of phone numbers, and told I didn’t "look" anxious or depressed…

Since then I have battled like hell for more support. Three years I have spent, in and out of a+e with overdoses not quite serious enough to need treatment. I’ve seen IAPT only to be told I’m too complex. I’ve seen home treatment only to have my meds messed with, told I technically don’t need them & I need to hang on for therapy. Hundreds of GP appointments to try and get my meds fixed only to be told they can’t give me anything else.

I’ve been referred 3 TIMES for cmht, to be discharged twice same day without notice, or even a letter, and the third referral not only WENT MISSING, but ended in a random, unplanned phone call to be told that I’d been assessed recently, don’t need CMHT, need to look at other options & that they'll see about psychiatrist changing meds… I never heard back about the meds. 

I’ve been told by multiple a+e & crisis cafe teams that I need a care coordinator, I need a plan in place, or a team or something to stop me going round and round in the same cycles… yet nothing has been done!! 

I’ve reached out for everything I can, I’ve done everything I can but nobody seems to want to help and I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep going like this or I’m going to end up seriously harming myself out of desperation for help, because so far that seems like the only time I can get any help, and even then it’s bare minimum!