I have been going through the same cycle every few years, getting aggressive and angry over the smallest things till a big eruption normally with my wife or at work. I have had trouble dealing with an incident in my basic training in the army that I did not talk about for over 25years, this nearly cost me my job and my marriage, as the lockdowns made it worse this time, luckily not to the physical level.
My wife is a rock who had reached her limit and I was fed up with feeling down, I had also started to feel worthless. I spoke to my GP and decided to refer myself to the Inclusion Thurrock team, I did my initial assessment and had sessions with the patient and amazing Pat, she helped me realise that I was a victim of the incident in basic training and this had caused a trauma block in my mind, I had a session of EMDR at the end of which I was crying, not with sadness but with a sense of relief, for a few weeks after I was walking around with a feeling that something was missing, I can not explain it clearly but it was as though the shades of the past no longer had a hold on me.
My sessions also explored other issues in my life which I had not realised were there and I had not addressed, to be honest growing up in a violent household where if I defended myself I was punished, I thought this was my normal life then, but I was helped to look back and realise that even though this was there some good came out of it, I have a strong protective streak and will defend those close to me or who I see are being wronged and I had always sort out friends for support and shelter.
I had a strong image in my mind at the start of therapy of a small child curled up in the corner of the room as I progressed I can say that I grew up and stepped out of the corner and out of the hole I had put myself in, I would still be there if I had not reached out to the helping hand offered by the Inclusion Thurrock team.
Once my time with Pat was finished I was invited to take part in the group session ‘Time to Thrive’ these 3 weeks with Adam and Tracy were well worth it I have learnt more about myself hows to recognise and deal with a lapse of which I have had a couple but have dealt with very well and successfully not going back into my corner. I am utilising my strengths and what I have learnt to move on and finally remember what is it to be happy.
I am openly talking to others about dealing with mental health, I work in and Engineering environment and run training sessions with a predominantly male environment, i have openly talked about being in therapy whilst on it and have found those around me have started opening up and even said know someone is happy to talk about it has made them realise ‘it is ok to not be ok’, I was even out shopping and was talking openly to a male shop assistant about our journey through therapy, 2 grown men talking openly about mental health in public.
THANK YOU INCLUSION THURROCK
"My Journey with Inclusion Thurrock"
About: Inclusion Thurrock (IAPT) Inclusion Thurrock (IAPT) Grays RM17 6NB
Posted by FBRob1972 (as ),