"Daughter born at 32 weeks 3 days"

I had been having problems with my bp from my booking appointment. I knew then it was a girl as my oldest I had bp issues in the last month and with my son I had no bp issues.

I spent 2 days in Dorchester after my routine growth scan in August 2021. We were due October. I was given 2 steroid injections to help baby lungs if we didn’t make it to 34-37 weeks as they planned. I then spent 2 weeks in Southampton hospital with high bp and preeclampsia.

The day before birth there was talk of having baby as my kidney levels weren’t what they should be and were getting worse. They’d done a last lot of bloods and kidneys were now stable so didn’t need to have baby. 11pm that night bp high again and medication wasn’t controlling it. The decision was made that rather then keep going round in circles we would have baby now. By this time it’s 1am and I’m waking up my husband that he has to come back as we are having baby. We live 1.5 hours away. He got there just in time.

They took photos of her for us before taking her to nicu. My husband got to go see her first and then I got wheeled down. She was in nursery 4 first in an incubator and put on oxygen but within 24 hours she no longer needed assistance with this. She also had a feeding tube. She then got moved to nursery 1 as it was just her feeding we needed to work on.

Unfortunately she couldn’t tolerate anything. Formula or my milk. She was nil by mouth, had an X-ray but they couldn’t find a reason for it. She then had to have a long line put in to get things into her. She had to go on the sun bed twice for jaundice. She got moved to nursery 2 because of this but soon got moved back to nursery 1.

Southampton then decided she didn’t need to be with them anymore but she couldn’t go to our local hospital as they don’t accept babies with long lines. At day 17 she was transferred here to Musgrove Park. She had her longline in and was having feeds through her tube 13ml every 2 hours. In her week here her milk has increased to 40ml every 3 hours. Her longline was removed as well as her feeding tube. She was taken out the incubator and put in cot. She has come on leaps and bounds.

The staff are amazing and put you at ease asking anything. They will explain anything you don’t know. Phoning up whenever I needed to make sure she was ok. Nothing was too much bother. Even though not a first time mum they still told me things I hadn’t realised and didn’t make me feel daft. Our week here has been amazing watching her progress with feeds and weight gain.

Having 2 older ones at home it has been really difficult being away. If I was with baby I felt guilty not being with them and when I was with them I felt guilty not being with baby. Also made it harder with COVID rules as I could only have my husband visit me when he could. I couldn’t leave the ward and meet visitors downstairs because of my bp. My now middle child cried when he saw me and wouldn’t let me go. That was tough seeing how much it had been affecting him. FaceTime just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Being 5 he also couldn’t understand how he could be so close to his little sister but he couldn’t touch her. The first week there were tears. I’d had my first c-section and had no idea how the pain was going to be. I was frustrated with my bp which wasn’t helping it. It was just a lot to process things not being how they had been for my other 2 children.

We couldn’t have got through all this without the support of family friends and also the hospital staff. It can be very lonely being here alone but talking to everyone helps relieve the pressure. It’s not easy going through this but we do get through it.

Day 24 and we get to take our little girl home. Surprise to the older 2 though as didn’t want to get their hopes up. Anything can happen.