"Fibroids.... the never ending battle"

In 2017 I was diagnosed with 2 small fibroids.  These didn't cause me too many issues at the time. However, over the years they grew and more symptoms and issues have become an added challenge in my life.  In 2019 things became apparent that they were getting worse, and worse in 2020, and even more so now than ever.  I feel like I have seen doctors, again and again, to tell me what "could happen" to help, but those things never happen. 

I have shared with the doctors that due to cancer, which is hormonal related, in my family, I didn't want to go on hormones to "improve" things.  One particular Dr. throughout this process has been the most difficult to deal with.  They have people that work under them, and the first person I met was great. There was no follow-up, however, and everything that has happened since has been because I chased it.  This Dr. has made me feel unheard, that my issues were minor and that they are unable to help me, particularly because of COVID-19 and not seeing patients face to face. Each conversation we have had their tone has been condescending and rushed.  

Today, I know that one of the fibroids is just about 10 CM.  It is pushing on my bladder and my spinal cord, which is creating a form of sciatica in my leg. It causes disrupted sleep, pressure on the pelvic area, low libido (particularly due to the pain during intercourse), back pain,  painful periods, cramps, bloating, and heavy bleading.  Over the years, I have been told I just need to lose weight- I am an active individual who goes to the gym 3 x. a week, walks 2x a day, hikes on weekends, and eats a homemade healthy diet.  I used to be a runner, and now I can't run due to the pressure on the bladder and the fact that running makes me pee myself- not a good look. I could go on.  

I have been patient, awaiting letters and following the system.  Trusting that it will be ok and that the surgery that I should be scheduled for will happen.  Over the last few weeks, I have felt worse and decided I should call the gynecology department and let them know and seek some guidance.  The doctor did phone me back last week, which I missed due to work, and they followed up as they said they would today.   Immediately on the phone, I got the same impression that I normally get- fobbed off, unheard, and basically spoken to in a tone of pure condescension.  They accused me of being anxious about wanting to know when the surgery would be yes, I am curious, but the real reason for my call is that I am currently in pain. They told me I should go to my GP because my pain could be something else- sure it Could be something else, but I know that its the same pain, just worse.  Not to mention, every time I have gone to the GP, they basically can't help me and need to then send me back to the gynaecologist.  Apparently, the GP can "assess" if it's urgent.  Circles... the system just puts me in a never-ending loop.   

This Dr. has read me notes, not remembered my name, my case, and seems to have no clue as to what is going on with me as their patient.  Patient Centred Care does not seem a priority.  In fact, when we did speak in early June this doctor asked me questions about the conversation that I had with the surgeon- questions that they should have answers to, or be able to find out, answers that I didn't have (e.g. did the surgeon want more imaging, did I need medication before surgery and when that should be started).  First, I am not a medical doctor, and second by asking me these questions reaffirms that you have no clue what is going on in my case.  

The surgeon I spoke to told me that the position and size (" a whopper") was worth removing. I spoke to someone else as well, and asked if I could be on both waiting lists- one for the embolisation, one for surgery- as hey, getting any procedure is better than none. Apparently you are not allowed to be on two lists.  Nor is there a clear system of care when you are dealing with an issue that people don't seem to care about, it won't kill me, so who cares about my quality of life? So I continue to wait, for the surgery, as if I can get it removed then hopefully this is the last time I have to deal with this unit.  We don't know how long the wait will be... how many more months/years I don't know.  I am only 37, can't imagine having kids now after carrying a tumour for so long, and struggle to see the point of healthcare, when they don't show any care.