"Problems with the current system"

I have been battling severe mental health issues for nearly ten years including anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, ptsd and a few others. I have recently been assigned a new psychiatrist at a time where I think I’m at the lowest point I’ve ever been.

We are changing medications and arranging support to help me, which is great. This means though I have to be taken off other medication which of course takes time but I was told if I get any worse I was to phone in and we would find a way I’m not suffering. This point has came, my woman’s aid support worker called the three towns resource for me and asked if I could speak to my psychiatrist or get a message to her that I’m struggling to the point I’m telling friends that I do not want to be here anymore.

The only thing stopping me take action is the fact my dad committed suicide so I know the mess it leaves behind but that won’t hold forever. They said a nurse would phone me instead. The phone call I got left me feeling completely defeated. For insomnia that I’ve had for years and we’ve still to find a medication that helps I was told to go for a bath. Is this honestly the advice you give someone?

Not even taking into account the fact that due to an abusive relationship I now have body dysmorphia so it’s not an option. Don’t look at screens, so will I just sit with my suicidal thoughts all night and hope it doesn’t overwhelm me? To also be told I need to do more things to help myself and that one of my medications is strong enough, no it isn’t hence why I’m so messed up.

Basically unwilling to tell my psychiatrist how bad I was until I mentioned the fact I had been told to phone in and I’d get to speak to her sooner. None of my notes had been looked at so the nurse had no idea of the severity of my mental health and that basically being told to fix myself was majorly damaging. I’m not a person to call for help often at all I suffer in silence most of the time so for that response when I knew it was bad enough I needed help has put me off ever phoning again. 

I’m not at all saying medication will magically fix me and I’m more than willing to put hard work in which I try every day. But I need to have the stability of the correct medications and get my sleep sorted before anything will get better. This is still a chemical imbalance in my head, you wouldn’t ask someone with a broken leg just to try and walk on it without help and treatment first because they need to help themselves so why is mental health treated less seriously? 

I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle and in all honesty I’m terrified of becoming yet another statistic.