"Stage 1A Melanoma Wide Local Excision"

Stage 1A Melanoma Wide Local Excision - (Asperger syndrome/Autistic Spectrum Disorder))

The experience of Autism is different for each individual on the spectrum - with varying sensory difficulties. I found it difficult to understand others as a child and started observing those around me to better understand the fascinating and confusing dance that is human behaviour - I learnt how to read micro expressions and that has helped me pass for "normal"*. I was diagnosed late and finally understood that not fitting the ideal social shape was actually okay, there is no "normal" - the world is beautiful and I get to merge with it through all my senses :) but still keeping inside the lines of the mostly neurotypically developed world can be tricky.

* 'In 2007, researchers Kamila Markram, Henry Markram, and Tania Rinaldi developed an alternative theory for what autism is, called the “Intense World Syndrome.” They believe that autism is not some form of mental deficit, but that the brain is actually supercharged and hyperfunctional.'

My point is: even though I've learnt to mimic appearing "normal", two of my main difficulties are straight verbal communication (I think and speak more in metaphors) and being around new people/places. Under stressful situations my verbal/word/name recall is almost non-existent and my functioning goes gaga. I was very fortunate to have my partner phone the the various nurses, surgery rooms, covid testing staff and so forth (she's very good at interpreting for me).

In August I had the melanoma biopsy - I was very anxious about being around all new people and not knowing what to expect. (My only point of reference was as a child going with my mother to have one of her moles removed that took a couple minutes and a single stitch to be made right). The medical staff were all very kind. I was quite frozen so even though I was saying words I wasn't able to properly communicate just how painful the surgery was - I was also shocked at how large the cut was (7 stitches and not just the 1 from my reference scenario). I think it would have helped a great deal if I knew what to expect - how it should and shouldn't feel, also how large the incision was expected to be.

By the time I went for my wide local excision surgery with Dr Bailey in October my knees were jelly. I was certain I was going to feel that same slow paper cutting experience only bigger this time. I brought a small piece of burlap I could rub between my fingers and hopefully get lost in. I think I blurted out something about being traumatised from the last surgery and then I just have flashes of the rest of the procedure. I was asked if I wanted music or for the staff to chat to me - I opted for music but then fell into chats about pets anyway with a face of kind eyes in a mask :D (animals I understand) and then it was over, I couldn't believe it - I felt a few minor pinches but mostly nothing at all. I was overwhelmed with appreciation and now I know for next time how a local anaesthetic procedure should feel. Thank you to Dr Bailey and the rest of the staff (I unfortunately lost the names of).