"I was left thinking people had forgotten about me"

I was pregnant with my first child when I started bleeding unexpectedly at what I thought was 12 weeks, during the Aberdeen local lockdown. Due to this, my husband was not able to attend an emergency scan to check to see if everything was ok.  I had to attend the appointment on my own, to find out the baby I was carrying no longer had a heartbeat.  I found this traumatising, having to deal with this on my own and then having to go out to the car park, trying to relay information I was given to my husband, when I was trying to make sense of what had happened myself.

I was told to return in one week for a further scan, to allow them to do the necessary checks to be able to confirm this was a miscarriage.  Unfortunately, I started to suffer heavy bleeding and cramping over the weekend.  I phoned the ward as directed and was instructed to come in for them to check me over.  I was put into a private room, to find someone else's file sitting on the bed. It was moved to the table, rather than removed from the room, when the nurse saw it.  The midwives were very kind when I came in, but they needed help from the doctor, as I required a scan to check on where the pregnancy sac was, as my body still required to pass this.  I was told, they didn't know when the Doctor would come, but they were constantly trying to phone them to come to the ward. A junior doctor was sent into my room to do a "workup", and asked me generic questions, none of which related to me actually being on the ward.

The same doctor tried to take blood from me, told me they didn't feel confident taking the blood from my arm, so would take it from my wrist instead. At no point did they explain to me why they were taking the blood.  When Rubislaw Ward opened for the day, I was moved there to wait and after being in the hospital for 6 hours waiting for a scan, I was eventually taken into the room for my scan.  Unfortunately, after I had taken my clothes off for getting the scan, the midwife came into the room to advise the doctor who had finally come onto the ward, had just that moment been called away to deal with another case.  I was so upset, I had to leave, as I couldn't bear to stay in a hospital not knowing if or when I would be seen. 

I returned on the Monday morning for my scheduled scan and was given the news that there was a miscarriage, and they could see my sac had moved.  The midwife attempted to remove it, but where it was positioned, she wouldn't have been able to get to it without the doctors help.  I was given the options of how best to deal with the situation, and it was decided that we would get the doctor to remove the sac by a small procedure so that I could start to deal with my loss sooner.  My first appointment was at 8.30am, I left at 10.30 to be told to have something small to eat , as I hadn't had breakfast or anything, and come back at 3pm to see the doctor.   I was not allowed to have anything else to eat or drink, incase something went wrong with the procedure and I would be needed to go into theatre.  I arrived at 3pm and was given a room to rest in, until the doctor turned up.  After 4pm, no-one entered our room, until 7pm when I was told the doctor was not coming to do the procedure.  The midwife told me they all offered to stay past their shift in order to allow the doctor to come to the ward and do the procedure, but they declined.

I have lost all faith in the doctors at the hospital, I have been left to feel as I had already lost my baby, as if the doctor felt as though there was no point in coming to see me, and focus on the girls who could have children instead.  I, instead, was so distraught at the thought of having to sit in a hospital for a 3rd time, decided the only option for me was to take some tablets and wait for the sac to pass at home, which I am traumatised at the thought of doing, but I cannot face stepping back inside that hospital.  I would rather go through a lot of pain at home, than go back and sit inside a room where I was left thinking people have forgotten about me and wondering if my baby had a heartbeat, would the doctor make an appearance.

I would not wish my experience on anyone and I dread the day I am advised to go back into the hospital as I will not be able to cope with spending more time waiting to find out if my case is enough for a doctor to turn up to check me over.  I would rather travel to another hospital, than go back to that one.