"It hurts."

Why is is when I need staff there is nobody there but when I don’t need them everyone’s available? 

I needed staff more than I needed them in a while. Nobody was there... 

but it’s okay isn’t it? 

It doesn’t matter how low I felt. I just need to act like I can deal with it all, why? Because one day I won’t be in this place and then who’s going to help? It’s really frustrating. Yet you can’t let them know. As they’ll say something. Which doesn’t help! 

But you’ve got to fight it! You might feel alone as heck in this place! But you need to fight! Even if you are fighting yourself as well. 

I haven’t told anyone about how my thoughts on suicide have got worse, why? Because I can’t cope being in here much longer... 

for me my thoughts are worse than when I first came in here. But I’m better at hiding them. I’m better at not telling people how bad they are...