"Warm, Friendly Nursing Home, Run with…"

My 93-year-old mother, blind (with Charles Bonnet syndrome), frail with permanent delirium following a UTI, was not able to return home, so we needed a nursing home. Parkwood House has an “Outstanding” CQC (Care Quality Commission) rating, so we decided to check it out. The result is that my mother is being cared for here and we have got to know the place well. All the staff and management (none of whom wear uniforms, not even Matron) are warm, friendly, and helpful. Whatever the problem (“she can't switch her radio off...?”) we are listened to sympathetically. Before Covid-19 she was getting lots of hugs and close contact from her carers, not least because the maze of corridors, lifts and stairs, means someone has to hold her tightly (and chat away to her – she loves chatting) as she is moved from A to B. A vegetarian, she appreciates the well-sourced, well-cooked food, with plenty of variety (she always said “yes” to a pudding!). Family and friends are welcome to join her for a meal. Her tipple is a Guinness: there is a bar for residents. She is blind, but in many respects remains mentally alert, making activities to keep her stimulated challenging. The staff noted she likes solving crossword clues, if they are read out to her - she was so happy one evening when a group got together and stayed up late solving clues (informing me the next day she’d been out to a party). Sometimes she prefers to listen to Radio Four, or a music CD, in her room, and this is what happens. Her medical and bodily needs are well catered for. It is part of the ethos that medication (such as Mertazapine, used in hospital to help deal with hyperactive delirium) should be minimised, so she is now as near to her natural self as can be. Her ongoing delirium means she lives partially in a dreamworld, at times benevolent, at times threatening, with concomitant rapid mood swings, refusal to cooperate, etc. which makes caring for her a constant challenge. The nurses and staff cope with these painful episodes professionally and with kindness. She has a call bell she can use anytime, and because she is unaware of her disabilities and the dangers these pose, there is a pressure sensitive mat beside her bed in her room, which alerts staff should she try to get out of bed unaided. She did suffer a fall, but it is impossible to eliminate all risk without compromising her precarious mental health. In summary, when there is no option but for an elderly relative to leave home to be professionally medically looked after for the remainder of her days, to ease the pain we deploy the euphemism "home". For my mother being in Parkwood House is as near as it is possible to be, to being at home.