"My mother"

My mother was admitted to Crosshouse Hospital in April after a week of falling over and 4 ambulances attending. She eventually was admitted to Crosshouse when an out of hours gp eventually listened and took notice of weakness to her left side. The initial thoughts were either a stroke or blood clot.

In May she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. These falls etc and dizziness etc that she was experiencing weren’t new but that’s another story which we had been fighting for help for 2years. My mother was given this heartbreaking news on her own and this was just the start of the problems.

The communication from this hospital has been shocking to say the least. The situation we are in just now with Covid is awful as it is but to have a complete lack of communication in a time where it’s of upmost importance. As a family no Doctor communicated any of this news, plans, possible treatments etc for over 3 weeks. It took us as a family to continually chase staff to speak with Dr.

She was treated originally in Ward 3E of UHC which I have no complaints against the care staff in fact they should be praised for the way and manner in which they cared for my mother. The simple things maintaining some dignity for our mum when her family cannot be with her. As a family we are desperate to see our mum and are heartbroken that since she’s had that news she’s had no support from her family. To listen to your mother breaking her heart over the phone to you when your not allowed to be there for her is something that will haunt me.

We were initially hopeful that my mum was being transferred to another ward for extra support and possibly the option for family to see her for a very short period to support her. In less than 24hrs the story changed and in fact she was transferred due to being in the same ward as a covid positive patient. My mum is now in isolation for 14 days thankfully testing negative and showing no symptoms. As a family we were not made aware of this by staff.

Since being in isolation, despite knowing she is deteriorating and requires the assistance of one other person with her mobility etc she pressed her buzzer and no help came. Needing to use the bathroom she decided to try herself which has resulted in a injuries to her face and arms. Later on that evening whilst speaking with her she tells me she is sitting in darkness despite again hitting her buzzer. Whilst speaking with her she reaches for an item and I lose her, no speech, no reply etc. I hang up and phone the ward right away. I relay my concerns to a nurse concerned that she’s had another fall to be told she another nurse's patient but this one would go check. Not the response I would expect or appreciate considering the previous fall.

Since then it’s been an absolute catalogue of errors. I won’t embarrass anyone any further but some things being said to a family in absolute turmoil are shocking. I’ve raised my concerns several times however this evening I have reached boiling point after another tearful and heartbreaking conversation with my mum. Today she’s been awake since 6. 20am locked in a room with a broken TV. She’s not had a shower in over a week. Show her some dignity and make her feel that wee bit better. My mum is a very proud woman and to be unwashed in over a week will not be helping her mood. God prisoners are treated better and with more respect.

This afternoon the tea trolley has also bypassed her as it would appear putting an apron on to enter her room is too much hassle. On another note to have a palliative/hospice nurse have a 45min conversation over the phone with my mum discussing dying etc I think is utterly disgusting. Show her some respect, put on PPE and sit with her when these things are being discussed. During this conversation 3 members of staff entered the room so I’m sure the hospice nurse could’ve done so to.

My heart goes out to anyone that has lost someone to covid it really does. I can only imagine the pain and suffering a family would be going through. However my mother isn’t dying of covid. My mum is dying of cancer. One which would probably have been detected much sooner if she was listened to. Being unable to visit her and support her is heartbreaking but when staff tell you that one of you could visit for an hour but they would need to self isolate for 14 days after yet not one member or staff working on that ward need to self isolate after working their shift on that ward. They would wear the same PPE. My mother has 2 children. How do you decide which one gets in. Again I feel for those whose lives have been affected by covid but this is a totally different scenario. If I had the choice again Crosshouse Hospital most certainly would not be the hospital I would have faith in to look after my mum.