"My requests were again totally ignored"

Went to A& E looking for a specific partner service. This was a massive step as my mental health normally prohibits me from even being able to walk into NHS ground. I knew the impact doing it would have on me and the symptoms, not while there but over the next few months.

Had been having my shaking fits in the corridor waiting but they were not too physical. When saw the nurse, said that if I have a shaking fit, that they are not dangerous but somewhat psychological and to please, please ignore me; to not talk and most definitely not touch me. That I wasn’t there about them. As I knew I would I started to have one and they called someone over who did precisely all that.

It was then implied to me that I could not leave or go find a more secluded space so that I would be away from other patients, as they needed to know where I was (previous experience had taught me that this can effectively be translated as “we will call the police to find you”), so had to try to wait in the corridor. Kept going out as much as I dared and tucked myself up in the corner knowing that I would be having many of my shaking fits. When I had one yet again, my requests on how to deal with them were again totally ignored. A simple “they're fine, ignore them, they've told us about this” works in the real world and was all that was needed. After all, what on earth could I know about them? I’ve only been having them multiple times a day, both awake and asleep for many years now, so clearly nothing.

Instead, I was surrounded by people doing the screechy voice thing when they try to get a response, grabbing at me, and then realising that it wasn’t a seizure (already told you that! ). Dragged onto some kind of trolley thing, whilst being berated to “help them” (I’m surprised it wasn’t obvious that whilst I am shaking I can’t really control what my body does). I then started encountering the changes in attitude, tone, facial expressions and general dismissiveness which have also previously been verbalised as “you are attention seeking”, “time waster”, “people who are actually ill need this bed” and so on..

I know I’ll never get a diagnosis or any help for my shaking fits, I’ve learnt not to even try to ask and just put up with it, but if someone comes in with shaking fits, even if they are not epilepsy and they ask you to leave them alone and give them some time to get over it before trying to force them to talk,   please please listen to them. Long after you have forgotten that they even turned up, the effect that you had on them and their symptoms can and will still be going months later. Sometimes “doing nothing” can be the most powerful form of “doing something”.