"Mixed birth experience"

My daughter was born at FVRH at the End of October last year. Although I am happy with the overall care and expertise I received, I did end up having a mixed birth experience. Arriving at hospital I felt ignored although I was in active labour, and during the pushing stage I felt at times very rushed. Overall, I felt like I was treated as a collection of medical measurements and numbers, despite me having a completely normal, healthy pregnancy and birth.

When I came to the triage waiting room, I had several increasingly intense, regular contractions in the corridor and wasn’t seen to, so my partner asked if there was anywhere more private I could labour. I was let into a side room and told I would have to lie down and put on a foetal heartbeat monitor band for half an hour before I could go up to the labour ward. After a while a student midwife said they would like to do a cervical exam and then send me up to the labour ward, but that I could chose to decline the exam. I told her that I would not like to be examined and she left the room. I had decided beforehand that I did not want to have any cervical exams, as I was sure I was in active labour and wanted to avoid anything that could spread bacteria to my baby as I was Group B Strep positive.

After that, another midwife entered the room and harshly told me there is no evidence of a cervical exam spreading bacteria to the baby. Then tried to pressure me into doing the exam by telling me my baby’s heart rate had been decelerating, although I was told beforehand that it was just a slight dip during a contraction, and nothing to worry about. I said that I still would rather not have it and was told that that was fine, but I would have to wait and see a doctor before I could go up to the labour ward. I was then left to labour in the side room for another hour or so, during which my contractions continued to become incredibly painful. I felt like I was being left there as a punishment for not agreeing to be examined. The pain got so great that I agreed to the cervical examination despite my earlier wishes just to be able to go to a proper room and get gas and air. The midwife examined me and to their surprise I was 6cm dilated already.

We were led to a small room and I was asking if I could get into one of the larger labour rooms with a pool as I was planning to help manage my pain with water and different labouring positions. I was then told I couldn’t go into the pool as I was Group B Strep positive. The midwife also told me I would have to get the foetal heartbeat monitor bands on again because at 12 weeks I had low PAPP-A hormone levels. They had made me so uncomfortable in the side room, so I asked if I could have the wireless ones instead but was told no. I asked for a birthing ball to sit on and the midwife went to look for one but never brought one back. It was only after the birth that I saw there was a birthing stool in the shower, but I was never offered this. I went to kneel on all fours on the bed, which I did for the final two hours of my labour, being very uncomfortable, but I didn’t know how else I could get labour on the bed without lying on my back which is supposed to be bad.

I was having pushing contractions for about an hour and was just trying to breathe through them, letting my body push when I felt the urge. At this point the midwife told me I would have to start pushing the baby out in five minutes. I wasn’t sure what that meant but was told that they let the mums push for one hour themselves and then they make them hold their breath and push as hard as they can with each contraction. I never heard about this but went along and it made labouring much harder, although probably a bit shorter. But I am convinced it also contributed to my labia being lacerated right into the vaginal muscle tissue. The pushing stage of my labour lasted about 2 hours. If I had been more informed I would have asked for a little bit more time to push with my natural urge and I am sure I would have still managed to complete that stage in less than three hours as is recommended by the NHS. When I later looked up NICE reviews and found there are apparently no benefits to directed pushing over spontaneous pushing, I really wish I had been left to get on with it myself.

During that stage I was welcoming the breaks between my surges which were helping me to relax and recuperate. However, when there was one ten-minute long break, the midwife forcefully suggested to massage my tummy to bring the next contraction on quicker. I agreed but this was very painful and resulted in a very ineffective contraction and I refused to do that again. The massaging was not helpful at all and again, left me feeling very rushed and like the midwives didn’t trust me to birth my baby. It seemed like they wanted to speed up the process.

After my daughter was born the other midwife helped me deliver my placenta and a doctor came in to stitch my lacerations. They both did a fantastic job and I went to Ward 8 for 24 hours before I could go home, where my experience was also very positive.