"Life as an Empath and coping with a Narcististic environment"

To All who may read my story,

Where do I start…an Introverted Empath living in a Extroverted Narcissistic world, who always felt I did not belong and always felt I owed everyone something and allowed myself to be bullied emotionally and bow down to others and accept what they were telling me……

April 2019 I found myself on my bed not wanting to live anymore, in this confusing, nasty and painful world…..all caused by myself beating myself up emotionally and due to narcissistic others, feeling they could bully me emotionally as well, whether that be family, friends, ex-husband, boyfriends, my children, and work, just everything! I knew after my unsuccessful attempt I needed help!

I called Inclusion with the support of close friends (who really knew me and saw my worth) and once speaking to them on the telephone, I requested Therapy (counselling) not CBT, as in my opinion CBT is very regimented, structured and one CBT fits all, I needed a non-medicalised pathway, strategy to find me and why I had this self-destructive, low opinion and worth of myself, what could I not see in myself? Why was I feeling like this? Just why?

I first met with Steve, scared, anxious, crying, thinking what if I couldn’t be fixed? What if it was me? Maybe everyone was right I am horrible? Nobody likes me? I was called into my first session with Steve and cried my eyes out, let my heart go and just blurted out everything I was feeling, I went from zero numb to feeling like a rocket exploding into the sky with feelings, emotions, tears, anger, hurt all exploding out in our consultation room….it felt good, but also the most scariest feeling ever, as I felt vulnerable :o(

Then came the overwhelming feeling of relief, relaxed, calm, the whole environment in that room felt quiet, reassuring…. I relaxed, I felt safe, I felt heard, I felt understood and I have not had that feeling in my life for a very long time.

I cannot thank you Steve enough for being my saviour, my confidant, my eye opener as he was calm, controlled and spoke to me in such a manner I understood him, Steve did not want to change me, recite medical pathways and how it should be done, he wanted to help me understand who I am, why I was feeling like this and each emotion has an effect on the next emotion and once I could understand that, I could understand me….which is a world of difference to thinking “it is me”

As an Empath and an introvert, being brought up in an extroverted world, I was constantly arguing with my inner self, so I was lost the fog had clouded my inner me, who I truly was and with Steve listening to me, my scenarios and how I was processing them, explained it in another way, that truly cleared the fog in eyes and found I could anchor myself and not allow other narcissistic behaviour and negativity affect me, as I know I was being true to myself and it was their behaviour causing the upset, not mine.

I ended my Therapy just before the end of 2019 and to this date have not wanted to comment, purely due to myself holding onto the amazing experience that Steve had given me and myself back to Steve, that I felt anxious to “go alone” so to speak, but I have gone from strength to strength, had a passing of my Mother In Law since seeing Steve, which totally emotionally broke me, but I have not let others taunt me and been calm, collected and extremely proud of how I have handled myself, as a true Empath should.

I have now met the man of my dreams and allowed love in again and even my children (Steve you will remember our conversations about them, ha ha) are calmer, more understanding and a true harmonious home is now restored.

Again I know I have said thank you so many times, but you truly were the saviour of me, for believing in me, seeing who I was and with gentle talk and understanding, you made me see who I truly am and I live a much fuller, happier, calmer more at one life and this is all down to your guidance and understanding.

So for anyone who can relate to my story, if only a little, please hold on to your hope and ask to see a Therapist (Counsellor – ideally Steve) as your fog will clear in time and you will find YOU again, no rush, no pressure, just believe in who you are and there are holistic talk approaches out there, Steve is proof of this and as I always used to say “Everyone needs a ‘Steve’ in their lives”

Take care, much love and hoping our paths will cross again someday xx