"Refused Help Twice Now"

I found myself with biliary colic a number of years ago which is a very painful condition. I was prescribed a range of painkillers from my GP ranging from Co-Codamol 30/500 to Tramadol and finally Morphine. These did help with the pain but as with all opiates they have a high risk of dependency and abuse.

Before i knew it i was swallowing tramadol like sweets just to get through the pain and function normally. I'm not proud of that fact right enough however, i was at a stage that i was getting a months prescription and finishing it within two weeks and calling up after two weeks and getting another months supply. I had a seizure due to the amount i had been taking and luckily survived that. I told my doctor what had been happening and they immediately stopped my prescription. The next 3 weeks after that was hell on earth, i had never experienced withdrawals before.

I in turn started using the Co-Codamol to help with the agonizing aches and pains and low and behold, i was still able to get them on prescription.

I will openly admit i have been addicted to codeine now for 12 years, i can no longer get them from the GP so i buy strong painkillers over the counter. I consume around 2 boxes of those a day, now to let you understand, that's 60 tabs @ 12.8/500, so 60 paracetamol every day. The first time I told my GP i need help, they done liver function tests and surprisingly everything showed as normal. I explained that i want to come off it now, if not I'm not going to see 40. I asked if they could do a weekly or daily prescription for Codeine Phosphate 30mg on its own and gradually reduce the dose. I was told that this was not possible and that i should contact the local drug and alcohol team where i would be given methadone or similar. These are both far stronger and more habit forming than what i currently take. I even asked if there was anything they can prescribe for withdrawals but nope, go to the drug and alcohol team.

I recently returned to the surgery as i have the major parts of my life in order, i start a new job in a few weeks and don't want to have the cloud of addiction hanging over me. I asked for help for a second time last week and was promptly told it is against NHS Tayside policy for the GP to help and all she can do is advise the drug and alcohol team. I asked her to note on my records that i have indeed been for help again and again they have refused to provide treatment.

I am aware that it is a choice i have made, not a good one obviously but not one single person on this planet has never made a bad choice. I feel that doctors can prescribe you these addictive medications to the point where you become addicted and do need them to function but when the s**t hits the fan they pass the buck and I have been left feeling like I am taking a massive overdose every single day. I think that something has happened in the system where compassion, empathy and a GP not judging you has been lost.

I am well aware of my history but that does not mean that i should get second class care, just because i have maybe not exercised the best judgement and let this get out of control i am entitled to treatment the same as anyone else.