"Missed miscarriage"

Was 15+2 days pregnant but had some bleeding so went to midwife who sent me for a scan same day.

Had the scan which showed unfortunately our wee baby was gone around 12+6. Was given options and we decided to have surgical intervention but was told as I wasn’t unwell physically ( emotionally was destroyed)  it would be an elective for 4 days later.  They then came back and said would put me on emergency list for the following day but may not be done as I’m not sick. I had already started with cramps and knew that I wouldn’t make it to the following day so went to the maternity ward.

The staff there were very good and understanding. I could however hear new born babies crying which was awful especially since I was in the process of losing mines. Was bleeding heavily so was examined by consultant and given gas and air which helped with the pain. They seemed confident that everything was gone and bleeding stopped so I went home with some sleeping tablets. The nurses in the maternity ward where really good. I called later that night as had passed some more tissue and was reassured that it was ok and as long as I didn’t bleed too much.

I stopped bleeding the following day but no one seemed concerned with that. Also in a fair bit of pain but expected that anyways.

On wed went to gp with a rash over entire body (on leaving the hospital did not feel like they told me enough info on infection risk etc) and was given antibiotics. 

All of Saturday night into Sunday morning ( 6 days after) felt like I was having contractions so called maternity unit to be told I would have to come in. Arrangements where made for me to go to ward d9 via a&e (where I was given oramorph for pain) as I couldn’t face going back into maternity unit. Was seen  In d9 and felt a bit dismissed by doc that saw me to begin with.  It was the same doc I had seen on the day I had medical management who  was sure they got it out.  Consultant came and did an internal scan which was very painful (seemed unconcerned with my screaming out in pain and obviously contracting) and showed I had retained tissue and that my cervix was closed so would need d&c that day as possible infection. They decided to give me some tramadol but no one checked if it was enough pain relief as effectively in labour.

Was given a room in d9 to wait for theatre. Asked for more pain relief as still in a lot of pain, given more oramorph and buscopan later but I was in pain and contracting so much so that I ended up with haemorrhoids from the pressure.  Was assured that I would be able to go home later that night and there would be no problem getting a prescription for pain relief dispensed from the ward. Was already taking co-codamol 30/500 for pain prior to admission and had been on for months before so was making no difference at all. I was also given diazepam from gp to help with anxiety and muscle spams prior to this but wasn’t offered any of this. Was in agony for hours.

Went to theatre at 1530 where recovery nurse was great and very reassuring. Taken into theatre where the consultant and theatre staff were discussing what they were going to do with the tissue they removed ( my baby and tissue that was supporting his life) as no forms had been completed for pathology/ histology I heard them saying she had passed “it” so this can just be disposed of. I had lost a baby and felt there was no compassion at all and this was highly inappropriate and very upsetting. 

Woke up in recovery, had to have intubation due to complications with anaesthetic. Again recovery nurse was great, very reassuring and gave me the pain relief I needed.

My partner was told it was a very quick procedure but I was down at theatre for nearly 4 hrs and he was not updated by staff at all so thought I was gone and nobody wanted to tell him.

Returned to ward still in pain, given more oramorph and hot packs. Had 2 sets of obs done by day team that were fine. Eventually also given iv paracetamol and asked about getting my other meds which I had missed doses of.

Buzzed for pain relief at around 1930 and were told they where really busy and she would get to me when they had the time. Asked about my regular meds again to be told they would get that. At around 2100-2130 nurse give me more oramorph, I again asked for a combination of drugs ( paracetamol and nsaid as much more effective for pain) but was dismissed. I asked questions about bleeding and aftercare etc to be told she was a bank nurse and wasn’t even that sure what I had done. At this point I was ready to leave, had enough by now. No compassion in anyway at all.

2300 came when I was told I could leave earlier in the day, thought that I could better manage my pain myself as was taking literally hours for any medication. Seen by doc who told me that I couldn’t leave because I had oramorph 2 hrs previously, tried to explain that I had been waiting hours for it and felt I could manage my pain more effectively than they were by using a combination of drugs. Explained what the nurse had said about dispensing some meds (including 24hrs worth of oramorph) from the cupboard so there was no delay but they said under no circumstances would they be doing that and if I left it was against their advice. The nurse assured me that the prescription would be done first thing in the morning and I could get home then 0900 so eventually agreed to stay. My partner left the hospital at 0030 angry and upset and what had happened.

 I eventually got my regular meds prescribed and a sleeping tablet and went to sleep really upset at around 0200. I woke at 0600 approx again crying in pain, the nurse was like we are you crying, I told her I had lost my baby and was traumatised from whole experience and she gave me some pain meds and sat with me for a wee bit, she said she didn’t know and was sorry so have no clue what handover she’s got.

 Tried to get some information in the morning, again asking about post op care etc to be told that the nurse was in on bank so really had no idea! Eventually got discharged at 1200 the following day after being assured it would be 0900.

I’m a nurse myself so know about the pressures that we face on day to day basis.  There was more than one nurse on the ward who could have provided pain relief especially in a post op patient.  I feel that the whole experience as been really traumatic and I feel that if I had went to the maternity unit, the care I would have received would have been much better as at least they would have some understanding of what I was going through. I feel the ward night staff and medical staff were speaking to me as if I was an idiot and I can assure you I am not. The discussions in theatre were highly inappropriate and insensitive and I’m really angry about this. 

I have been through such a traumatic time  and this was multiplied by the care ( or lack off) that I received. I am very disappointed!