"After giving birth a woman is vulnerable"

Following an induction which started the previous night, I finally gave birth to my daughter in a very stressful and traumatic way, on an operating table in theatre at the Queen Elizabeth University Hospital in May 2019. I understand the reasons for being rushed into theatre (my daughter's heartbeat had disappeared from the trace). Thankfully I was able to push her out and didn't have to go under General Anaesthetic for an emergency C-Section.

My complaint is really about the manner and attitude of one member of staff within the team in theatre. I do not know their name but they was on my left, and I held onto their hand, as I pushed my baby out. I was grateful to have a hand to hold as I was very scared at the time. After that, this person looked at my vagina, and in a very off hand way remarked it would be just a couple of stitches.

In my traumatised state, I understood this to mean I had had minimal tearing and would literally need 2 or 3 stitches. This was not the case - I was still in theatre with my new baby on my chest, what felt like hours later. I think in reality it was probably 45 minutes. During this time, the member of staff who had said this remark about the stitches sat behind where I was lying, chatting to another member of the team - they talked about rotas and even holidays I seem to remember. In shock after a very scary labour, I couldn't verbalise that I needed peace and privacy, but looking back I feel it was incredibly disrespectful to make the remark and to chat so casually behind me as I was having my stitches put in. 

Finally, as I was being wheeled into my room after the labour, the same person remarked to me that they would see me in a couple of years! This sort of 'chummy' joke is completely inappropriate for a woman to hear just after giving birth. I felt incensed at his complete lack of respect. I managed to mumble that I would never, ever, ever do that again, before being taken into my room. 

I would like the person in question to be reminded that birth - however successful, empowering, calm or joyful, is a traumatic experience for a woman. After giving birth a woman is incredibly vulnerable. I did not realise it at the time but I am deeply traumatised by the final 8 minutes or so before I delivered my daughter, and by the off-hand attitude I was shown by this member of NHS staff. Perhaps they are too desensitised to what giving birth actually means and should go and work in another field for a time. 

It feels like what's important is that me and my baby survived - and that's all. Yes we survived but my horrific experience will stay with me forever.