"Husbands palliative care crosshouse hospital"

My husband was sadly diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last August and unfortunately was only given a few short months to live. 

We as a family wanted him to be at home with us at all times as did my Husband however due to contracting infections he required a few stays in hospital during his last few weeks.

My husband was in several different wards however I am only going to comment on 3 of them. 

He was initially admitted to the combined assessment unit where he stayed for approximately 2-3 days. He was in an end room on his own with no tv, radio etc. Having been given the news he had been given he needed something to distract him. We asked if he could be moved to a room with a tv the next time one becomes available however this didn’t happen. I would like the outcome of this to be for the staff to be a bit more sensitive and aware of patients receiving palliative care and to ensure there are distractions in place such as a tv as standard practice. I understand the nurses are busy and that not every room had a tv however in his condition he was going out of his mind in that room.

The second ward I would like to mention is was 4D at crosshouse hospital. My husband was admitted to this ward on his second last admission to hospital. Unfortunately due to the circumstances this is me just being able to voice this and as a result of the time that has passed I can’t remember names of staff.

If I could describe our experience on ward 4D in one ward it would be “disgraceful”. My husband had the most horrific experience in that ward and I am so angry with myself for not taking names etc at the time but he was my absolute priority at the time.

During his stay he had deteriorated quite a bit which meant he wasn’t as mobile as he had been. He was still able to get up to the toilet and shower but needed a little support. On arrival his fall risk was 0 this was high by the time he was discharged.

He asked if someone could help him to the toilet and was told “no” he was told he had to use some type of wheeled support for them to help him. The nurses and physio came in and moved him to the toilet on this mobility aid (fall risk was high at this point) they refused to allow him to try as he said he felt very uncomfortable using it. When he told the nurse this the reply he got was well it’s not all about you and this is how we are moving you. He had no other choice but to be wheeled through. He used the toilet (they wouldn’t allow him to close the door properly) then when he asked for help (going from seated to standing was the issue) he quickly realised they had all gone and left him. With the support of the grab rails etc he got up and walked back to bed independently. The nurse then came in and said that that proved he didn't need a mobility aid

My husband was quite sore and had a bed sore on his heel which was causing discomfort. He had asked for a chair to sit on to allow him out of bed to take the pressure off of his back. Following a bit of trouble they brought him a chair from the renal unit but told him it would need to be returned. The chair was broken which meant when my husband sat on it he was very low and therefore couldn’t access it independently. He asked for help several times this particular night and was told there was nobody there to help him as they were on their break. My husband then tried to get up and a nurse attempted to help him (fall risk high). She couldn’t get him up so instead of calling for help or putting him back into the chair she left him! She left him hanging off the chair with his foot wedges against the wall to stop him from falling! Another nurse went passed shortly afterwards (she was one of the very few nice people on we met on the ward). She asked what happened and when told her response was that this was not on. she called for help and within minutes my husband was back in bed.

As if things couldn’t get any worse my husband was finding that the staff were hanging his buzzer out of reach and moving his table with his water etc out of reach. He actually told us that if he could have reached his phone he would have phoned for us to go out and take him home. 

We visited all of the time and only left to allow him to rest. One particular night (our granddaughters birthday) we visited and he was particularly agitated so we were asked to leave for a while (the nurse was very nice about this) but were told we were free to visit any time day or night. Previous experiences when phoning for an update had been very poor and we were all really upset about the way he was when we left him so my daughter went out to see if he was ok. She went out around midnight. She walked into the ward and explained why she was there. She was passed to a nurse who was looking after him, despite being on their mobile  (personally I didn’t think mobile phones would be permitted on the ward?) then took their feet off the chair where they was clearly chilling out. My daughter asked if she could go and see her Dad. She was told quite bluntly no he’s sleeping. She explained that she wouldn’t wake him but that she just had to see for herself that he was ok. Once again she was told “no”. She was then told “don’t you go down there you’re just going to wake him”.My daughter had to practically beg to see her dying Dad that night and that’s something that haunts her to this day. The nurse eventually said to do what you want but that my daughter better not wake him.

My daughter went down and without opening his door she looked in and could see he was asleep. She could also see that for someone who had been asleep for a while his brightest light was still on, his tv was on and the wire for his headphones was around his neck. My daughter left and the nurse asked her “is he sleeping” they  were told about the light etc to which they replied they would go and sort it. 

With the exception of a few nurses one female and one male (I think he may have been an auxiliary) the way the staff treated my husband was an absolute disgrace! My husband was not treated with the dignity and respect he deserved and we as a family will never forgive those nurses for that. I really hope they are ashamed of themselves. 

The next ward I would like to mention is Ward 4f. My husband was admitted again with what appeared to be a chest infection. He was in bed at home pleading not to go in as a result of his previous experience but he was so ill he had to be admitted. He was transferred to ward 4f and the care, attention and respect he was treated with was second to none! He was treated with complete dignity and respect as were we as a family. There was a doctor who spoke with us and unfortunately I can’t remember his name but he was absolutely fantastic! He is a credit to the NHS. The nurses were the same they were absolutely fantastic. 

Unfortunately my husband passed away before we could get him home but the staff on the ward made us feel so welcome and were so kind and genuinely passionate about their job. I really can’t thank them enough. If wasn’t just my husbands named nurse who supported us it was anyone we approached. . 

I am so grateful to the staff who genuinely cared for my husband and who gave us a little extra time with him but as for the staff who treated my husband  in ward 4D I hope they never have to experience having a loved one diagnosed with that horrific disease and if they do I hope they are met with better care than my husband was.