"My miscarriage experience"

The NHS has managed to be so inconsiderate towards the “missed miscarriage” I have had.

Despite going to see my GP in March as I was getting sharp pains and had fainted, at that point I was around six weeks pregnant. They arranged for me to have a scan that evening at the John Radcliffe. When I arrived at the Hospital I was taken to see a junior doctor who examined me and then informed me that I was too late to have a scan, as the ultrasound room was locked and they did not have the keys. I was asked to come back for 7:00 the next morning (which required me to find a baby sitter for my two year old son).

The next morning I turned up at the hospital as agreed and three and a half hours later I was taken in to have my scan. During my scan the ultrasonographer told me that my baby was showing two weeks behind the due date by my last period. I was then asked to come back again for a second scan 10 days later and they told me everything was fine.

Four weeks later I started to get the sharp pains again and made an appointment with the midwife to see if everything was ok. I was in there no more than 10 minutes while I was told to lay on the sofa and take it easy for a few days (which is not easy with a toddler). Despite insisting that to her that the pains may be something more serious she brushed it off and wrote that “everything is fine” in my blue notes.

So you would think because they said all was fine that it would be, I put it down to growing pains and got on with things. When I attended the 12 week scan I was not prepared for the news I was about to receive. I was called into the scanning room eagerly waiting to hear the heart beat again and there was nothing. The ultrasonographer stopped what she was doing and said “I’m sorry, I can’t see anything and there is no heart beat."

My heart sank and I all my emotions began flooding out at once. Once I had gathered myself together as best I could, I was taken down the the urgent gyne suite and asked to sit in the same room as the expectant mothers, that is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and it was only after I complained twice that I was then moved to a different room.

After around three hours a doctor finally came around to see me. She said she was sorry that I had lost my baby but I could see in her face that she was trying not to smile (maybe she had heard something funny before coming into see me but that is not how I expected a doctor to act).

They sent me home after about 3 hours of waiting after finding out that we had lost our baby. We then had to make a choice weather we wanted to have a ERPC (evacuation of retained products of conception) or see if things happen naturally. We went for the ERPC. When we rang up they were going to make me wait till 6 days later, so we had to fight just to get it to happen on the next day. Its upsetting enough knowing you have lost your baby, let alone carrying around a dead baby for a week longer.

We turned up on the morning and went though the consent forms etc, and the doctor come and spoke to us. They said we should have another scan in 10 days, otherwise it might end up being like having an abortion. They went out the room and came back in after just reading my notes, unlike before, and said oh you have already had a scan 5 weeks ago and there hasn't been much growth so the baby has died, so you should go ahead with the ERPC. So as you can imagine we are confused what's going on and getting very angry and upset over what they said. After that we got sent to sit with a load more pregnant women to get some bloods done for the ERPC. All we could think was how unfair is this.

Finally, as i thought, that would be the end of it... it wasn't it was only the start. After being in so much pain i kept going to the doctors telling them. They kept giving me antibiotics. I must have had about 5 lots in the end. One of the doctors done another pregnancy test about 3 weeks after the ERPC and it came back negative. So she arranged for scan but that wouldn't be for a while.

In the end i took another pregnancy test, to find out that it was still coming up positive 5 weeks after the ERPC. I went back to the doctors for the 5th time in 5 weeks and they finally listened and sent me up to the John Radcliffe Hospital.

When i got to the John Radcliffe Hospital got made to wait in the queue, with heavy pregnant women which is so upsetting, then put in the same waiting room as before, listening to people who have just had scans and are over the moon, while i’m sat there wishing that was me.

After hours of waiting i finally saw a doctor, to say he was going to get someone scan me which he did. Eventually then after the scan I got told they didn't get all the pregnancy tissue out and it might have been a molar pregnancy, so once again I was booked for another ERPC the following monday.

Again I had that done and was in a lot of pain. After 2 days i was back up to the John Radcliffe again. They did a pregnancy test and it came back negative and it was a UTI (unirary tract infection) which why i was in pain, so back on 2 lots of antibiotics, this would be 7 lots in 6 weeks. While i was thinking yes, at last i can finally get back to how things was and finish my grieving.

The following week i took another pregnancy test, because I suddenly started to feel pregnant again, and it came back positive. So i rang the hospital to find out whether my results was back after the last ERPC to see if it was a molar pregnancy. They had and it came back negative (gosh i was relieved). So i told them I’m getting positive tests again and they said to come in the next day so i did.

I was back in yet again, in the same waiting room and got called to the Dr. They tried to discharge me as soon as i sat down but i stood my ground. They just would’t listen to me saying the pregnancy test turned positive (more than 1). They then decided to say that could be a molar pregnancy. After having to complain a lot to them, they decided to do my bloods to check my HGC levels even though i was asking to be scanned. They wouldn't do it, but my concern is they messed up once, what's stopping them from doing it again? (I even said that). But all they did was made me an appointment for the following friday to see yet another doctor... they said he will decide whether i get another scan done or not (so yet another fight with yet another doctor).

So 7 weeks down the line from the 12 week scan, I’m still fighting with the NHS and still in pain which is not nice for your 2 year old son to see.