"Care at crosshouse hospital. Kilmarnock. Scotland"

I had severe chest pain and couldn't breath. My husband called 999 and after 20 minutes an ambulance and 2 paramedics came. I could barely talk as I was in so much pain & I couldn't get a breath. They asked what was wrong and my husband explained because I couldnt talk. Pain was a ten plus and worst ive ever felt. They asked if i had previous medical history & my husband told them I have endometriosis & fibromyalgia but also suffer from anxiety & depression. I felt that they immediately changed manner. I didn't feel that they were very nice or pleasant in the first place but after being told this one asked are you sure its not just anxiety.

I had tears running down my face in pain & was told to calm down & stop crying just breath but my chest & back felt like it was crushing me, I couldn't even sit up unaided or move. I managed to talk a little & ask for help breathing & with the pain. They had a tank of air & breathing mask next to me but refused to give me anything & told my husbnd to go get paracetamol from the kitchen & he gave me that despite telling them that hasn't helped with the pain. It upset my son to see me in so much pain. All the way to the hospital i struggled with the pain but wasnt given anything and was made to walk to the ambulance.

When we got to the hospital the paramedics wheeled me in and just let go of my wheelchair & left without telling reception. I got told right we're away the nurse will come get you. I couldn't get a breath & the pain was so bad i sat in the wheelchair unable to move and crying loudly, screaming out in pain for about an hour feeling totally ignored by everyone including nurses & reception staff.

Eventually i tried to get to the desk and collapsed. I landed on my back. I was shaking violently & being sick. 3 staff members stood over me as i lay on my back vomiting. They were calling she is choking on her vomit but nobody intervened. I was panicking & tried to spit out the sick as i was swallowing it. I spat it all over my face, hair & jumper. Then doctor came & told me to get on my knees which i barely managed. I was put in a trolly & wheeled to an emergency area with other people (open ward i think) i had bloods taken by very rude staff.

I was crying and shaking and tears & snot running down my face. I was left to sit in my clothes that i was sick on for ages aswell as the trousers i had urinated on when i collapsed. My anxiety was so bad i couldnt even speak much to the staff because of how unfriendly they were. A nurse  said why you crying! I told them i couldn't breath & was really sore & they said that's stupid stop crying. The bed rail had blood on it which didnt belong to me which i only realised after touching it with my sore arm. I was originally told i was getting scans but the doctor came in & said i think it may be gastroenteritis so i will give you cocodamol & tablets to treat it & you can go home.

I was left feeling really scared, really embarrassed & totally worthless by every member of staff i came across apart from one staff member who did my heart rate thing with sticky patches. They were the only one who offered a kind word, compassion & put me to ease. 

After this experience i never want to go back to hospital & have never felt so embarrassed, de-humanised & upset as i did on that occassion.

I was also asked if it wasnt all in my head. I have a lot going on in my family and with my own health & live with chronic pain daily. I hate going to seek help from doctors & nurses because I often feel judged or that they play down your symptoms & pain. Going out is so traumatic for me because of terrible experiences I have had & things are so hard for us as as a family that me agreeing to let my husband call an ambulance was such a huge thing for me. I only did it because the pain & breathing difficulties were so bad that i had to go to hospital. It wasnt something any of us took lightely but after what happened i cant even think about it without it deeply upsetting me. It also affects my husband as he is deeply disgusted & angry by all that happened. I really really dont want to go bck to hospital & hope this never happens again to anyone else. These people are supposed to help, care & save people & many of them do & are truly amazing & i cant thank them enough but I feel that the ones who treated me really need to be reported, held accountable for their poor & mean actions & made to improve or leave their job.