"Headaches 15 months after CSF Leaks"

In October 2017 I complained of high blood pressure while overdue with first child to the Maternity Ward. I have only ever had one slightly high reading, however I did not feel right. I was hot and panic and dizzy. They said I could come in if I want but to try wait till midwife. Went to midwife the next day and was sent to hospital. I had preeclampsia.

The day after, I was induced. When I was 4cm I was taken to labour ward. My labour was horrendous. The pain never eased off. I found my midwife awful. Her first words were literally epidural? Now on my notes I'm dead set on no epidural. I had gas and air but after many trips to toilet which made my contractions worse I opted for the jag. With no relief and constantly needing to pee and being asked an pressured into an epidural I finally gave in because my midwife was very unhappy I needed to pee again and actually told me I didn't. Before epidural they drained my bladder. She needed another bucket because there was so much! I felt like shouting I told you!

I cried whenever another midwife came in because they were all so nice, I wanted them. She was angry and sat in the corner only asking if I want epidural and not comforting me. When they came to perform epidural she was like the best actor. So supportive. It only upset me more. Getting the epidural I was crying already. I stayed still however they hit I assume a nerve and I jumped. They told me to stay still and I tried to tell them it wasn't me who moved. My daughters dad heard what seemed a disagreement on needle sizes between colleagues. The epidural then had to get checked as I said I could still feel stuff. I had to press the button every chance I got. I was in pain.

At the time of 9cm I was on gas and air as well as epidural. I complained of pressure and eventually someone checked me again and the head was coming out. My daughter came out so fast compared to 22hr labor. She gave me a third degree tear. I was taken to theatre to be stitched.  I ended up experiencing awful headaches and was told I needed a blood patch. I was given my options and decided to do it on the Sunday before going home. I was terrified and crying because the epidural was hard for me and a lumbar puncture is similar. They performed the blood patch and again hit I assume a nerve as I jumped. Two colleagues were also muttering about position and convinced the anaesthetist to change from sitting to lying down. This anaesthetist didn't sound confident in new position. I was told I could move about afterwards even though they were dead set on lying down.

I was discharged eventually after rumours apparently being spread that I was scared and didn't want to go home. Not sure where that came from. After staying in hospital since the Wednesday I was desperate to go home! My spine leaked again at home. During the time at home I missed a step on stairs which gave me pain in my head. I've had pain in the back of my head. Crushing and burning everyday all day since. I can't remember not having a headache since the spinal. Whether my mood is high or low the pain is there. I cannot move my neck well and it causes the pain. I have lost my upper body strength, memory loss, dizziness, anger, no balance. A girl in her 20s who lives on the couch when I used to cycle to and from work, swim in the evening and also work during the day. I scrubbed floors while pregnant. Nothing would stop me. Not even my spinal leak. I was up changing my daughter and breastfeeding despite the excruciating pain. I'm struggling to keep my strength now. I'm haunting by the flinches I had when the needle went in. Haunting by the pain. And haunting by the information I received.

They claim my headaches have nothing to do with my spinals. They also say its down to mental health. I feel like a mistake was made and not that it is just a risk. They said I agreed to the risks when I got it done but I was forced into an epidural and couldn't read on gas and air and jag. Although I did agree. I feel like there has been negligence. When I was discharged a nurse made a comment about my iv needle not been changed. I have requested my files from my stay.