"Sheffield adult mental health service"

I am shocked by how badly I’ve been treated by the mental health services. I am so confused and do not understand what is going on with my own care. Which obviously for someone who already had severe mental health problems this is traumatic and causes more distress. I went to my gp this morning and admitted how badly I felt in mental health crisis and they could tell I was not safe and so I was kept there while they tried to contact the mental health services to see what was happening, they know me well and knew that the unknown was stressing me out more. Eventually they told me that SPA still had me on their system and were looking at getting a support worker for me and the person who they spoke to would ring me back this afternoon for SPA.

I went home around midday to wait for the phone call and thought of all the many many questions I wanted to ask this person. I then got a phone call from someone who said they were from Northlands I’ve never even heard of northlands and have no idea what it is and told them I was confused but no explanation was given. They also just said they had been told to call me so what can they do for me? Which given the situation and the morning was not at all what should have happened. I panicked and put the phone down in distress which I often do because I get triggered by thIngs a lot and it’s my gut reaction.

It always shocks me that someone can admit they still feel suicidal and then put the phone down clearly in distress and the person trained in mental health on the other end simply thinks oh well. That says to me just get on with it then! Why don’t they give you 5 minute yes and ring back? No one understands how distressing a phone call is for me but when at home it is often the only way to get any support. I panicked and rang SPA to leave a message as I often do asking someone to ring me and explained in the voicemail that I was very confused and upset because I don’t know what’s going on. I did this at about mid afternoon.  Shortly after five I had a phone call from someone from out of hours saying I’d asked for a call back and simply what can we do for you? I explained that I did not ask for a call back from out of hours and explained in brief the situation.

they said that they didn’t know what was going on and seemed to find that funny and acceptable even though I had had this all day long. They kept saying to me what do you want from me tonight? And just didn’t get that what I wanted was to simply know what on Earth is going on and to have some actual support. Now it is the weekend thank goodness I have a very caring gp who has promised to ring me on Monday and no matter how busy they are or what time it ends up being and they are still at work they will ring me. But the adult mental health service in Sheffield seems to be letting the side down. I’ve felt like this before multiple times that the nhs just want me to die so there’s one less person for the limited resources to help. I am sharing this in the hope that someone will read it maybe then things will change.