"Overall I felt very unsupported"

I gave birth to my son in Ayrshire Maternity Unit in February 2017.  In the lead up to giving birth I attended the unit due to worries that my blood pressure was too high.  I had checked my blood pressure on a monitor I keep at home but by the time I attended the unit it had gone back down again.  The midwife/nurse who saw me that night was very abrupt and made me feel very stupid for being concerned in the first place. 

The day I went in to labour, I actually had an appointment anyway.  My waters had started to go and had meconium in them so I was kept in, my blood pressure was also running on the high side for me as well.  It was also discovered I was having contractions already but the decision was still made to put me on a drip to induce me.  The drip made my contractions unbearable and so intense that there was no let up between contractions.  This meant I had to have an epidural as I couldn't cope with the pain. 

Things went fine until I started to push later on that night.  After the first push my baby's heart rate plummeted and the orange buzzer was pressed.  I was told they would need to perform an episiotomy and use forceps to help deliver him.  My legs were lifted on to the stirrups on the bed which were clearly not fit for use as they couldn't be tightened and my legs kept falling off of them.  I could see the consultant/doctor getting annoyed by this as my legs weren't stable as she was trying to cut me.  The stirrups being like this also didn't help when they were trying to pull baby out with the forceps but eventually they got baby out.  He had to be resuscitated but recovered very quickly. 

I was told I had a "small tear" that would need stitched up in theatre.  Nobody at any point over the next 24 hours told me it was a 3rd degree tear, what that actually meant and what the recovery would be like for it.  

I was put up in to a ward and was trying to breastfeed my son.  I was a first time mum and had no clue what I was doing.  No one told me there were charts that I was supposed to fill out when baby had eaten or soiled their nappy and again I was made to feel stupid about not doing this.  There were also bits and pieces provided in the cupboard underneath the baby's crib that nobody had told me about and I had no idea they were there. 

I really struggled to get my baby to latch on and every midwife/nurse that came to help me would tell me something different and I ultimately was left feeling confused and on the verge of giving up. Finally baby had urates in his nappy which one of the midwives/nurses told me was because baby wasn't getting enough fluids.  At this point I became even more upset and asked what I should do about it to which she sternly replied I could  give the baby formula but YOU need to tell US that. Not exactly the support I was needing at that point and time.  Overall I felt very unsupported and like a failure as I left the hospital.  My suggestions/comments would be:

1. Giving mothers more choice during their labour.  Given the knowledge I have now, I don't think there was any need to be induced, I was labouring fast enough myself.

2. The bed I had should never have been in use, the stirrups were clearly faulty and I don't know if this hindered the overall birth.

3. Procedures need to be explained, particularly to first time mums.  We are not psychic and don't know what charts have to be filled out and when and what facilities are available to us in the hospital.

4. Breastfeeding - the ante-natal class needs to be more realistic.  Breastfeeding was made to sound easy and natural and not one hint of any issues or how to overcome them were mentioned at the class.

5. Breastfeeding in hospital - Everyone needs to be on the same page and understand how mentally distressing it is when you can't manage to breastfeed your baby.  Options of what to do when baby isn't latching on or getting any breastmilk also needs to be discussed better.  Expressing milk or giving formula should be options that are discussed when these problems are encountered.

6. More information on what it means to have a 3rd degree tear, the healing process and the problems that can be encountered after must be provided.  I've got most of my information from the internet as there was little support or information given to me at hospital.

7. Any expectant mothers attending the hospital due to concerns, whether it be fetal movement, blood pressure, pre-eclampsia etc should not be made to feel stupid or like a nuisance.  Being seen about these worries reduces the risk of stillbirth and other complications and the experience I had put me off calling the maternity unit when I had any worries.

Hopefully a lot of these issues have been addressed in the past 19 months but I was made aware of this website today and was told my feedback would be valuable in addressing any changes that may need to be made.