"Inclusion Matters Wirral: Depression and Anxiety CBT group"

Antipi and Terry clearly are dedicated to leading the Depression and Anxiety CBT group and enjoy it. Although my preconceptions about group sessions were that they are often too generic and seem inapplicable, Antipi and Terry ensured that the discussions were open so that participants' real struggles were considered using the CBT methods. This not only makes the training more 'alive' and relevant, it also broadens attendees perspectives of the obstacles faced by individuals with depression and anxiety and fosters a sense of support wherein we look for a solution as a group. I found this collective solution seeking particularly helpful as through brainstorming, new approaches were suggested and that by participating in the group, you felt both supported by the group and proud of the support you gave to others. The leaders are another real strength of the group, as Antipi's and Terry's styles complemented each other, with Terry providing local, practical examples and Antipi offering more of a theoretical/ analytical approach. I particularly benefited more from the latter, as I enjoy knowing the 'why' and 'how' things connect. If I had any criticism, it would be that there at times was an over-reliance on the slides, and that the slides themselves have colloquialisms and slang that did not register with me. Terry and Antipi, however, regularly respond to feedback, and when I mentioned the over-reliance on slides, that was amended for the next session. A small note, but the free tea and coffee was helpful in relaxing the group, encouraging us to mingle, and making it less formal.

On a personal level, I found the variety of discussion, homework, training and informal support from my fellow attendees extremely helpful. Changing the way that you think about something is a long process, and initially ideas that may seem impossible or irrelevant were later made real and transformative through the repetition and the variety of integration. I learned from this course that:

1. "I have limits and it's good to work within them" (self-sacrifice/pushing yourself too hard/pleasing people can be taken too far and often leads to physical and mental illness)

2. "I am not trapped-- even when I think I am" This is by far the hardest lesson and one I am still struggling with, especially when I'm so driven and the job market is so difficult. Three years of both trying to change the situation from within (I am overworked and not valued), seeking coping strategies like yoga and healthy eating and applying for jobs left me feeling stuck in my present position where several colleagues off with stress due to poor senior management and overwork. This is a workplace where crying at work has become normalised. Feeling unable to alter either my current environment nor change it altogether left me feeling suicidal. However, now, after months of recovery, medication and CBT, when I consider the worst-case scenario, possibly leaving a job that I am good at and over-qualified for and getting a menial job like I had before I started this long education and qualification journey, may give me more pleasure and satisfaction and literally 'save' me.

3. "I should re-evaluate what I thought I enjoyed and what I don't." I found that because I am a people-pleaser, difficult jobs that I was praised for I thought I enjoyed, but actually I only enjoyed the praise and pleasing others. Re-evaluating what I found pleasure in helped me to communicate with others when I needed help, or when I didn't want to do something.

Inclusion Matters provided an important service for helping me understand my situation and enabling me to feel empowered to treat my own depression and anxiety, which I feel is a direct result in my case of the current work environment and the false economy of 'saving' money by overworking your workforce: money spent on sick pay and replacements is not worth safeguarding the health of staff. I would suggest that Inclusion Matters is not only supported by organisations aimed at getting jobless back into work, but expands to help those teachers, NHS workers and professionals, to explore avenues for retraining, or to direct them to employers who are not so risk adverse so as to value 'transferable skills' and experience.

I joined the group several months into my depression, and I'm not sure I would have benefited as much from the group had I joined in an earlier stage, as I was not mentally coherent and was afraid of interacting with people (this is a far cry from who I am and one of the reasons I understand how serious depression and anxiety are). In my case, the delay in attending IM helped me to take in more of the class content and find it easier to attend every week. I would not want my case used to prove a point emphatically, as people are individuals and respond differently to treatment at different times. My work does not provide counselling support or CBT, and although I had already completed online CBT 'The Big White Wall' (which I found beneficial in the initial stages) the group, I believe, was essential in my recovery, as physically being there, discussing your ideas, interacting with others, was something I had withdrawn from and although 'The Big White Wall's' discussion boards, bricks and emails were useful, had I continued in that vein, I would have not started to regain the face-to-face skills and the confidence the group brought, nor would I have been able to ask as many questions as I did of Antipi, who really supported me with her comprehensive and thorough answers.

I feel strongly that this service was valuable, and it also helped with 'inclusion' and the feeling of a community supporting each other.