"Mental health recovery service/crisis teams in Essex."

After ending a violent marriage, losing my home, 7 bereavements in short time, I ended up at 41 going off the rails. I was an intelligent level headed person. I became depressed so saw Gp. Anti-depressants did not work. Got referred to mental health service and saw a psychiatrist. Told to do things like hobbies, exercise, distraction etc. I did that already, had about 4 hobbies. Ended up taking a large overdose and was found by a friend who was a nurse.

During this time the crisis team came out to my home for 4 days. On the 4th day I was told as I had done some gardening I was better so they had no need to come out. I was trying to distract myself and keep busy. I was up and down with depression for years and overdoses became more frequent. I saw a CPN who asked me if I self harmed, had never heard of it. I started doing it and for a while it made me feel better, but I eventually stopped. I virtually begged these people to let me stay in hospital even if it was for two days as I had constant noise problems where I reside. 14 years later I still have these problems.

They made the excuse I wouldn`t like the beds they have in hospital. 26 overdoses later, and a change of diagnosis 5 times in 2 years, they still are doing nothing. I have had therapy and the day duty staff keep telling me to let her deal with it. I phoned the crisis team recently and was told not to phone the number it is for people in crisis. Only 4 weeks ago I tried to reach top of a multi storey car park. They still wouldn`t help me. I had to phone the police of whom took me to the mental health building.

The staff there said they are going to be running a group where patients can work on an allotment as I like gardening. If I could do gardening I would do it myself at home.

I phoned the crisis line and was a mess. I was told they cannot do anything as it is a friday night. What is the point of having a god damn crisis line if it is only useful during the week? They are going to leave a message for the day team on monday! I don't know if it is me but every time I have phoned these people they say `What can I do for you`? That makes me think that they do not know what they are doing and leaves me feeling not confident under their care.

My life is untenable. I have had two CPN staff who both left me at risk and an occupational therapist. The occupational therapist actually discussed me with her paramedic partner which was unprofessional. There is no help out there, not practical help anyway. Even the psychiatrist left and left them in a mess. I am now told to see Gp who has no idea about mental health medication.

Also two years ago the mental health team was split into two teams. I have proven during a meeting that I am under the wrong team. I have also taken a medication break as I was put on a medication that gave me a serious reaction. The staff said wait for an appt. It is now 5 months later. Told to stop taking sedatives overnight after being on them 13 years. So basically going cold turkey without being monitored, deteriorating mentally. Emotionally I feel like a bath bomb.

Complained to PALS and they got the head of the mental health authority to write to me saying he has investigated. Yeah right! Nothing has changed, I even reported them to the CQC.