"A&E was a last resort, told to come back later"

I was feeling suicidal and decided to go into A&E. After explaining myself for the second time, bringing all the negative feelings to surface when I went there to receive help to feel better, I was informed by the doctor that he thought an admission to a ward would be detrimental to my condition and told me there was some really disturbed people on the wards.Which to me felt as though it was an insinuation that my condition and what I was experience was inferior.

After explaining that I don't trust myself and that I would like to be admitted he explained that he did not have the power to admit me to a ward himself and that I would have to attend a meeting with another group of people who were the gatekeepers for admittance.

The appointment was for about six hours later, so I left the hospital feeling more erratic than I did when I entered because I had to explain my problems twice, insist that I need support, which was quite evidently not available as the doctor did nothing more than repeat the exact same sentence numerous times, and then felt completely lost after turning to what I consider to be a last resort to be told I have to go away with the mix of emotions and come back in a few hours time.

I fought through the few hours and went back to the hospital for the appointment to be told that they were in fact not the gatekeepers and more over they did not have the power of admittance, it is in fact the doctor who I saw hours earlier who has already decided that I did not qualify for admittance, and the appointment was for a home assessment team.

I was homeless at the time and being sent to a home assessment team really did feel like an insult, especially when the person asked for my address for me to have to explain that I do not have a home, for the home assessment team to visit me in.

I feel disgraced about the mental health system because of this experience, I found that all but one of the doctors were cold, distant and did not show any with sympathy and understanding.