"We should never be told we have a choice if this is not the case"

I initially went in to the maternity unit after experiencing contractions that seemed to be rapidly building and was seen by my midwife who was extremely efficient and kind. I was still very early on however and was able to go home. My midwife saw on my notes that I had opted for the labour ward for my birth, as it was my first pregnancy I was more comfortable with the idea of frequent monitoring. She told me this was absolutely fine and that I just needed to say when I phoned again later when the contractions were closer together and I needed to go in that this was my preference. By around 11pm that night my contractions were no longer bearable and I called the maternity unit. I had been made to understand from all antenatal classes, policies and communication on the subject that it would be my choice as to where I gave birth. This was absolutely not the case. I was rather aggressively questioned and told that unless I had a high risk pregnancy I was not getting to go to the labour ward and that I must go to the midwife led unit. I was already upset from the pain and agreed not wanting to cause a fuss.

When I arrived at the midwife unit I was seen by a midwife who asked me what I wanted for the pain, I asked her what options I had (this being my first pregnancy I was looking for advice). She suggested morphine which slowed my contractions and allowed me to doze briefly. By 7am the next morning I had been checked on once in the interim and by this point my contractions were unbearable. My husband had returned and had gone to find a midwife, I had also rang the buzzer 3 times and my husband was told someone would be along soon and that the staff were mid changeover. I was left for 40 mins after this and was so upset in pain and feeling so abandoned that my husband tells me I was hyperventilating. A student midwife then came in and asked me, if someone had come and see me? I reiterated through gasps that nobody had been to see me. The midwife then handed me gas and air, but without the plastic mouthpiece. Myy midwife from the day before then returned and gave me the correct mouthpiece and assured me she was handing over another patient and focusing on me which I was grateful for. A short time later my waters were broken and there was meconium so I was then transferred to the labour ward.

I cannot then fault the treatment and care I was given in the 11 or so hours before my daughter was born by forcep delivery. The recovery ward I found to be less pleasant. I was there for two nights and felt as if I never saw the same member of staff twice. I was eager to get home but was never given a clear answer on what I had to wait for or do. My daughter passed all the necessary tests and was doing well but I was exhausted from close to two days with no sleep and you do not get sleep on the ward. I look back and worry at the fact I nearly nodded off and fell over while trying to breastfeed in the middle of the night and don't feel this was safe. I was expected to keep a log of how often I had been able to breastfeed and was asked each time - 'is this the last time you fed her'? appearing from the log to be several hours, when in fact there were gaps as I had asked I could have a pen to fill this out, but nobody seemed able to give me one. I really felt as if I had to pass a breastfeeding 'test' before I could go home. I had a catheter initially and there was blood and I am sure some urine on my sheets but I still had to sleep in them for two nights. I was crying in relief when I was finally able to go home after two days, the last few hours of which was spent chasing the paperwork.

In the weeks after this I was still getting upset when I described my experience to family and friends. I cannot fault my midwife who was extremely good. I also cannot fault the team in the labour ward and theatre who safely delivered my daughter, however I cannot but feel that the way I was really pushed to go to the midwife-led unit and then (I felt) effectively abandoned was not what should have happened. If it was a case of low staff numbers at night to manage another person on the labour ward, this should have just been explained to me. Instead, I felt silly for wanting to go to the labour ward in the first place. We should never be told we have a choice of where to give birth if this is not the case in reality. My daughter is now 18 months, and from other reviews I can see many of these things will have improved and I should have perhaps posted my experience much earlier. However, it is still something that I feel I should share.