"Don't lose sight of what each patient is going through"

I miscarried my first pregnancy after what scans estimated to be around 8 weeks, I had known for about 6 weeks. Due to my pcos and very irregular periods, I had an early scan to date the pregnancy, and a follow up scan two weeks later, which showed no progression. I was therefore offered a D&C (or natural mc). I was treated with care and compassion by the sonographer, who explained my options, and booked me in for the D&C a few days later.

The morning of my procedure started early, attending for bloods in the hospital, and then transferring over to the day surgery unit. I was put in a gown and robe and compression socks, given a pessary to start softening my cervix, and told to sit and wait. My husband was in the main waiting room, where I could go if I wanted to, but he wasn't permitted inside the unit where I was waiting. Because I was upset, and this was an experience we were BOTH going through, I wanted to be with him. I sat in a large, cold waiting room with my husband, surrounded by all kinds of people and patients -many dental - and children.

There was little to no communication about when I might be taken for my procedure, but it was expected to be within a couple of hours. It wasn't. After a couple of hours I started contracting and bleeding very heavily. I was miscarrying in the waiting room. I then spent a lot of the next few hours on the toilet, bleeding, and alone. I ended up being the last to go in the very late afternoon. I had sat all day waiting for my "procedure", hanging like a huge black cloud over our heads. I hadn't eaten since the night before, approaching 20 hours at this point, was upset and vulnerable, and felt like staff didn't understand why.

I was crying as they administered the GA, I was scared and upset to be saying goodbye to the pregnancy and future we had been imagining for the previous few weeks, it was all so alien to me, and I had no one looking after my emotional wellbeing. Husbands or partners should be able to stay with you until the moment you fall asleep. This is an emotional experience for many, and something that stays with you for a lifetime. I understand (now) how common mc is, and so D&C procedures must take place every day in units like this, but REALLY, PLEASE don't lose sight of what each patient is going through, they're hearts are breaking and you're witnessing them saying goodbye to their future baby. You are playing a huge part in this experience, treat that with the privilege it deserves, and give them the compassion that the couple need so desperately. Thank you.