"Unplanned home birth"

I gave birth to my daughter at home, on the stairs with only my husband to help because I was sent home by the consultant.

She was born at 10. 50pm. Twelve hours previously I had been in a meeting with the consultant to discuss plans for birth and have sweep procedure. I told the consultant that I had been having strong contractions for the last two days. They examined me and I was 4cm. They did sweep and I told them in the half an hour I'd sat waiting for them to see me that I'd had 6 contractions.

Their reaction was blasé. They insisted I go home and that they were going to cancel my c section (scheduled for my due date in four days time).

This was my 3rd pregnancy and my second child was an emergency section, only 18 months previous.

I asked several questions about what I do. When do I come back? Will my waters be broken if things don't progress? What about my scar? They kept interrupting my questions with a cocksure "it'll be fine" as though I was being hysterical.

Their exact words were to "come back or phone if the pains get stronger or closer together".

When I reminded them my second child was just under ten pounds in weight (hence the emergency section) and that that worried me this time they said, "what do you think? Do you think baby is big this time? " I mean, what even is that as a question from a professional. That's why you have scans and a doctor or nurse to advise you!

Perplexed, I left the room and returned home to another 9 hours of unassisted and unsupported pain. No reassurance, no advice.

The pain didn't get worse or closer together. All of a sudden the contraction I was having didn't go away. My waters broke and within 5 minutes my baby was crowning as I threw myself around on the floor at the top of my stairs. My husband had to phone an ambulance and deliver the baby himself with only a woman on a phonecall to advise him. My baby was not responding when born and if the ambulance hadn't arrived (within seconds of her hitting the step in front of me) we wouldn't have known what to do to revive her.

I cannot describe accurately enough how upset this experience made me and it was nearly 5 months ago.

After the birth I was taken to QEUH maternity but only stayed for not even 24hours because the woman next to me was snoring through her baby crying which didn't seem to concern the staff.

At no point did any Midwife ask me how I felt about what had happened at home, the birth or am I OK? Only got wow, what a story. Except it isn't a story. It's the birth of my daughter which was horrendous and traumatic when it needn't have been!

As a result of the position I have birth in, I damaged my shoulder and neck on my right side. Two days after the birth I was in a&e with a spasm. NHS24 called an ambulance for me as they suspected a stroke.

My muscles had been so damaged I couldn't move my arm or turn my head. I couldn't eat with my right hand, wash myself, change my clothes. But the worst part was I had to watch my husband give her her first bath, family carry her when I should have been the one doing these things. I was under supervision of physio for two months before being signed off.

There was a big difference in the post labour ward this time as compared to my first baby in 2012.

I'm still struggling with everything that has happened. So disappointed and will never forget what happened.