"Father's end of life"

My father was diagnosed with lung cancer in December 2015 he attended hospital for chemotherapy and also radiotherapy. By November 2016 we were given the sad news that there was nothing to be done the cancer had spread. I had my dad staying with me and I looked after and cared about him.

We expected Marie curie palliative care because that was what was offered and it was what my dad wanted. Sadly there was the grand total of two visits one to introduce us to Marie curie palliative care and what was on offer. The next time was to change medication and to make sure we knew what tablets my dad was to take and when.

There was a trip to the day service centre my dad was colouring in with crayons for a thing that was going to be used at Christmas. He was offered to attend the Christmas lunch at the day service however he was not feeling so well. During these 3 weeks he was told that he was not near the stage of having to be taken into the hospice yet. That said I had been concerned about my dad's breathing and also having pain amongst other problems my gp came to see him and he admittedly did help with a couple of issues and again it was voiced Marie curie hospice was still not needed.

One day towards the end of December my dad had a very bad night we were awake all night because his breathing was getting worse and his cough was to he was also getting more pain. I had to call my gp surgery and request a doctor to call me ... he did and I literally had to beg for him to come and see my dad because I thought he needed more care than I could give him ( I'm actually disabled and a single mum with two girls aged 10 and 13 ) and would like him to be admitted to the hospice. We were told sorry nobody can take your dad there are no beds.

The doctor made up a letter and was sending my dad to the western general hospital we would have to wait for an ambulance for up to 6 hours so we got my dads things together and started to wait. I got a phone call saying they had found alternative transport for him and would come for my dad within an hour and they did. However my daughter also went with my dad (eldest daughter is 18) while I looked after her daughter. My poor dad had to go through the process of admissions and waited for hours until they would give him a bed he was sat there with a dressing gown and pyjamas.

Once he was in the ward and settled a couple of family members popped in to see him. He was uncomfortable at this point but said he would be due pain relief. Next day we found out that my dad had been crying out in pain and was suffering so he was told to keep the noise down because it was upsetting other people in the ward he was then put into a side room on his own. family visited through out the day.

My eldest daughter went in to see him 2 days after he was admitted and she was pulled to to one side and told that my dad had only days left and they were speaking to family about coming in. I didn't get that call my brother didn't get that call either that evening my dad was still alert talking laughing and was still breathless.

The next day I went to visit my dad as I started to wheel myself in the door I noticed that the sheet he had on him was covered in urine it was mostly dry obviously he had been like that for a good while and to make it worse he had a pair of incontinence pants on so clearly he had not been checked in in some time.

We waited in the corridor until they had cleaned up and changed my dad so I could go in and see him. My dad was sedated as in out he talked to him and told him about his great granddaughter and what she was up to now she was walking a bit and I just wanted to let him know I was there with him. My dad opened his eyes he looked terrified and started to try and grab me he was saying my name and in all honesty I've never seen a person like that before and it broke my heart I was devastated for him. He should have been looked after better.

During my visit they gave him more upon more sedation I felt like it was to shut him up because he was clearly in distress and needed comforting. I had to leave although every fibre in my body wanted to stay and hold his hand. I told my dad what an amazing dad he was to me and how all 4 of my kids loved him so much and his great granddaughter too. I also said dad if you need to go just close your eyes and fall asleep.

My eldest daughter was in behind me she was with my mum and my little granddaughter they stayed for a little while then went home. My brother got a call not long after 6pm to say my dad had died I had left the hospital at 4: 35 pm.

There was an arrangement made for my brother to collect my dads belongings and the death certificate he was told it would all be ready for him. When he got there nothing was ready my brother was sitting outside the room my dad died in for over an hour because the death certificate was not done.

I do not understand why there was very little compassion given to my dad by hospital staff. I don't understand how nursing has turned into something so cold and uncaring on that particular ward. It infuriates me that a dying man was left to sit and wait for the process of admission to be carried out and it was hours of waiting on a plastic seat. The fact that my dad was walking talking laughing making himself tea 48 hours before he passed is something that myself and my family can't understand how come he declined so fast I've never heard of this.

My grandad died of lung cancer at the Marie curie 25 years ago he was give 5 star treatment not a complaint from any of us.

The western general needs to start sorting the problem I hope to god that something happens that will stop a family in our position from going through all this heartache