"No medical follow-up or emotional support"

I am sharing my experience following a missed miscarriage, in the hope it helps improve care for others.

My 10-week scan was a private scan, where we were reassured that there was a heartbeat. At my NHS 12-week scan, we were told there was no heartbeat. The nurse who spoke to us at that appointment was kind and compassionate, and she explained what had happened clearly and sensitively. However, once we left the room, everything changed.

I was asked to leave via a corridor where I had to pass families with newborn babies in car seats and partners bringing bags of clothes into the maternity ward. At one of the most devastating moments of my life, there was no consideration for the emotional impact of this environment.

After that appointment, it felt as though I was forgotten. I received no follow-up phone call to check on my physical or emotional wellbeing. No blood tests were arranged to confirm whether the miscarriage had fully passed, and no one contacted me to explain what should happen next. I had previously met my midwife earlier in pregnancy but had not received my initial blood results from around 8 weeks.

When I later accessed the Maternity Badger app, I could see that my 12-week scan had been recorded in triage, with no heartbeat documented in my notes. However, there was still no record of my 8-week blood tests. Seeing this without any explanation caused significant anxiety and left me worrying that there may have been an issue with my blood results that I had never been told about.

I did not hear from my midwife after the miscarriage and assumed rather than being informed, that the loss was now recorded on the system.

I was told that the first available date for surgical management was three weeks after confirming there was no heartbeat. I found it extremely distressing to be expected to carry a pregnancy with no heartbeat for that length of time. In the end, I miscarried at home, without medication, without checks, and without support.

Two weeks after the miscarriage, I had to take my 3 year old daughter for her routine vaccinations. This appointment took place in the same department and waiting area as the midwife clinic. I sat opposite a visibly pregnant woman and then watched another woman leave her appointment happily holding her purple maternity notes, the same notes I had been given only weeks earlier and no longer needed. This was incredibly painful and could have been avoided with better consideration of patient pathways.

At no point did anyone from the service contact me to check how I was coping. Losing a baby at 12 weeks is a bereavement, yet being left to manage this at home with no medical follow-up or emotional support made me feel that I did not matter.

This has been an eye-opening and deeply upsetting experience. I hope that by sharing it, improvements can be made around communication, follow-up, and compassionate care for those experiencing pregnancy loss.