"Lack of perinatal mental health support during pregnancy"

Really poor experience with perinatal mental health. I asked for a referral during my booking appointment due to my history of previous perinatal depression. I had to wait months for any kind of contact. Then I had a meeting with a mental health nurse who I found to be quite poorly trained and left me feeling more anxious/hopeless than I did before. Over the subsequent months, this sadly became a trend. 

I went through multiple emotionally painful assessments (especially as I was experiencing spousal emotional abuse during the same time and receiving support from a different victims support team and social services). Absolutely nothing came back from those assessments. Promises were made and not kept, everything I was sharing was going into a black hole with zero feedback or follow up. Talking to my mental health nurse was making me feel even worse - they were unable to share any kind of feedback or even verbalise plans or share whatever little information they had. I was eventually told that I'm on a wait-list to see a clinician, but it won't happen until after birth. I asked multiple times to see a psychiatrist to talk about medication, but also received no feedback/follow up. I was being asked about how they could support me, only to be told no to every request I had. It also was completely unclear to me what the team can actually offer beyond assessments and making me feel even worse. 

I eventually (eight months pregnant) asked my midwife for another referral to a different trust because I felt that my trust had been betrayed and I had no confidence in st George's team being able to deliver care or support. Of course, I was told that it's not possible and if I want any chance of support, I have to continue with my community team. I couldn't even request a different mental health nurse. I had no direct line to contact the service, advocate for myself or ask for an advocate. 

Eventually, whatever steps my midwife took on my behalf paid off and I got some engagement. A week before birth I finally saw a psychiatrist after being scheduled in a last minute appointment. In reality, I didn't even need to be there because nothing that I tried to say mattered - their opinion was fully formed, I felt they were not at all responding to what I was saying or sharing, and left me feeling judged.

I felt I was not being assessed, I felt I was being judged and belittled. At three separate occasions I shared that I had severe side effects to medication before - not once did they ask about what my side effects actually were, only said that every single medication has side effects. Within 15-20 minutes I was told that I will need to be on antidepressants my whole life - just a reminder, I went through spousal abuse that landed me in A&E, and then I was unable to get care for months. Yes, I'm unhappy and angry, but it doesn't make me crazy. Eventually, I just stopped talking and nodded my head in agreement to everything they said because there was no point in me weighing in - I felt nothing I said mattered. 

I feel completely betrayed and hopeless. I'm very disappointed in the perinatal mental health services in general and this team in particular. I am worried about the future and I feel that I have no one I can rely on. In my experience, this team is absolutely not fit for purpose and in my case it's done more harm than good.