"Lack of compassion, empathy or dignity"

I visited when 11 weeks pregnant after phoning for advice and being told that the earliest they could book me in for a scan was in 5 days time, which wasn't acceptable due to the concerns I was having. I was then given the option to come in and wait to be scanned. I was left waiting for several hours, being told next to no information. Eventually I was told there was only 1 person available in the whole maternity hospital able to scan and I would not be getting a scan that day, despite being very concerned and distressed by this point. I was told I could choose to have a private scan instead and the best they could do was book me in for 5 days time. 

I was able to book a private scan for the next morning, which turned out to be a truly horrific experience and during that scan I found out I'd in fact suffered a missed miscarriage. I then returned to the Rubislaw Ward the next day having had to phone them to inform them what had happened.

Upon return I was kept waiting around whilst extremely distressed, with a complete lack of compassion being shown towards me. I was eventually scanned, confirming what I already knew. Despite the fact that I'd seen a healthy heartbeat a few weeks prior at a private scan and the fact the foetus was right on the threshold, I was told I would have to wait 7 days and then have another scan before anything would be done. I was treated with contempt when I got upset at this and any concerns I raised were dismissed. No information was given to me to explain what had happened or what to expect. I was left to do my own research and find my own resources.

Following returning a week later and having yet more scans, confirming what I already knew, I was then booked in for surgical management 2 days later. Upon returning to the ward for the surgical management, there were minimal interactions until the doctor and anaesthetist came to see me before the surgery. I was taken to theatre by two pleasant theatre nurses and the team in the theatre treated me well.

However, upon return from surgery only minimal care was given. Further, when needing the toilet for the first time I was made to stand up and walk to the toilet which was across a hallway whilst actively bleeding and no underwear or pad on, resulting in blood running all down my legs, into my footwear and on the floor. I was given no dignity and it was humiliating. Thankfully I had my husband there to help me clean up.

Upon being discharged I was given minimal information on what to expect or do and did not receive any follow up care despite being told I'd receive a call from a bereavement midwife in 2 weeks time.

The lack of compassion, empathy or dignity has resulted in an already traumatic event being even more traumatic. 

Things need to change and they need to change fast. Women are so vulnerable when pregnant and particularly when having concerns or going through a loss. No one should be treated the way I was.