"Miscarriage experience"

I was left scared and alone having a miscarriage. It was my first pregnancy. It was planned and very much wanted. I had concerns. I sought help. I felt dismissed. 

I first tried to get medical attention when I experienced spotting and light bleeding early in my pregnancy. I was unable to get a GP appointment with a GP to refer me to the Early Pregnancy Unit (EPU). I managed to speak to someone at the EPU who told me they didn’t have any scan appointments available before my scheduled 12-week scan. I was sent home and told to call if I experienced heavy bleeding.

I had heavy bleeding and passed clots, called EPU and was told I needed a GP referral or to go to urgent care. My GP surgery told me all of the GPs were too busy. I spent 2hours in urgent care, in pain, having to either stand or sit (neither position was comfortable) having a miscarriage, waiting to be seen by the EPU. Bloods were taken which I was later told couldn't be used and had to be redone.

Finally managed to be seen at the EPU and an examination confirmed I had a miscarriage. Rather than be given a scan there and then I was told to come back the next day for my scheduled 12-week scan appointment. The women’s health outpatient unit had not been told about my miscarriage and I was left in a waiting room full of pregnant women and a TV screen with loud adverts about babies while waiting half an hour for an ultrasound to show how much pregnancy material was left in my womb.

The person who scanned me was wonderful and very sensitive when I told them that I had been examined the night before and had clots removed from my cervix (and told I had a miscarriage). They personally escorted my partner and I back to the EPU after my scan and ensured we were given somewhere private to sit and wait to talk to a doctor about whether any further intervention/ any anti D was needed. 

The whole process from the start of me having concerns about my pregnancy to me finally leaving the hospital left me feeling vulnerable and unsupported. It would have been far better for my partner and I if I had been given a scan the previous night rather than having to come back to the hospital when we needed to be at home grieving our loss. It was particularly insensitive sending us to a ward and waiting room filled with pregnant women when I had just been told I lost my baby and was still trying to come to terms with that news. 

It is also ridiculous demanding GP referrals for concerns during early pregnancy when it is well known that it is increasingly hard to get a GP appointment and the GP themselves wouldn’t be able to do anything to help me, just simply refer me on. 

I find it very concerning how many times I heard at the EPU various people being told there weren’t any scan appointments available for mothers who had concerning symptoms and just needed to know if their baby was ok or not. 

The individuals I encountered were good, but in my experience the system is so broken and does not work. The lack of ability to get a GP appointment is resulting in poor care overall and having a knock on impact on strains on other parts of the system (e.g A&E/ urgent care/ the hospital in general). 

Patients should feel listened to and well cared for. There needs to be a decent free medical system that works and provides support patients can trust. The NHS need to consider the system and processes from the patient’s perspective. 

In my view, what is in place now simply is not good enough. I believe that good staff will leave due to frustrations of not being able to provide decent care. 

What I experienced in this pregnancy has made me concerned about the level of care people receive during pregnancies and is giving me pause about whether having a baby is wise. 

With government concerns about declining birth rates, I feel there needs to be better support and care for expectant mothers and better financial support from businesses and the government for maternity leave.