"Birth Experience - Great team support, though one encounter left us feeling overlooked."

My wife and I recently welcomed our first baby through IVF, and overall our experience with the maternity team was absolutely fantastic. Most of the staff were warm, supportive, and made us feel cared for throughout our journey.

Unfortunately, our interactions with one particular member of staff were disappointing and left a lasting negative impression. During one of our appointments, this member of staff made my wife feel that her birth plan was wrong, which caused her to doubt decisions she had made with care and confidence with her midwife and a consultant midwife from the labour suite.

After the birth, when we were on the postnatal bay in the midwifery unit, we again encountered the same member of staff. They made unnecessary comments asking about a father, despite us already explaining that this was an IVF pregnancy and asking who I was, which my partner introduced me as her wife. This felt insensitive and out of touch. 

My wife was also struggling to feel confident with breastfeeding and had hoped to stay another night for support, but we felt pressured to leave and that we weren’t really wanted to stay. It was referenced from the midwife that the bay would probably get busy and that there’s breastfeeding support after the weekend, bearing in mind this was a Friday afternoon.

It’s upsetting that what should have been one of the happiest times in our lives was tainted by this experience. We don’t want this to reflect badly on the whole department, as the rest of the team were exceptional and truly made a difference. We just hope this feedback helps ensure all families — in whatever form — are treated with the same understanding and respect.