"Traumatic Induction"

Although I have already met with some senior midwives to discuss my concerns, I wanted to share my story publicly because I believe other women may benefit from hearing it. The senior midwives I spoke with were very  compassionate and acknowledged that some aspects of my care did not meet expected standards, and explained that learning will be implemented from my experience. I am grateful for that, and I hope that by speaking openly here, other women may be better informed and feel able to advocate for themselves if they notice similar issues.

I was induced in the afternoon at 41 weeks and three days. As the evening progressed, my contractions became strong and were coming every four minutes. Despite this, my husband was asked to leave at the end of visiting hours. I felt frightened and alone as my pain increased, and being separated from him was difficult.

Before my waters broke, I experienced bleeding and also had the urge to push on two separate occasions. I reported both to the induction bay staff, but no action was taken at that time. This left me feeling unsure and unsupported, especially as the pain was intensifying and I felt something wasn’t right.

Shortly afterwards, my waters broke suddenly in the induction bay bathroom, and I realised that my baby’s head was already coming. This was frightening, especially while alone. I had to be urgently transferred to the labour ward, and because everything happened so quickly, my husband missed the birth entirely. This has been very difficult for both of us.

During labour, I also felt that my concerns had not been fully recognised earlier on. A CTG had shown strong contractions, but I was not offered a vaginal examination and was instead given morphine. Soon afterwards, it became clear that I had been in established labour.

I suffered a 3b tear, which was painful and distressing. I was taken to theatre for the repair. Although the staff behaved professionally, I found the number of people present — including male staff — very overwhelming, particularly at such an exposed and vulnerable moment. This added to my emotional distress, as I was in a vulnerable situation by myself again, after already previously haven given birth alone.

In the hours and days after the birth, I struggled emotionally. My notes recorded anxiety or a raised heart rate seven or eight separate times, but I did not feel I was offered meaningful emotional or psychological support. I had a brief discussion with a midwife about the birth, but when I explained that I felt anxious and that my heart rate remained high, there was no follow-up. Most of the input I received focused on the physical aspects of my 3b tear rather than how I was coping mentally. I am now suffering with nightmares and flashbacks to the birth as a result of my experience. 

The night after the birth, I had to care for my baby on my own, as my husband was again asked to leave at the end of visiting hours. I had already had only around 15 minutes of sleep the night before due to the induction process and increasing pain, and I had not been able to sleep at all from the time of the birth (2:52am) onwards because of how anxious and overwhelmed I felt. Trying to manage a newborn alone in that state was extremely difficult and added to the sense of fear and exhaustion I was experiencing. While you can use your buzzer to call a midwife, it could not replace having consistent emotional support after such a difficult birth. 

My meeting with the senior midwives was reassuring, and I appreciate the steps the Trust is already taking to learn from what happened. I was also offered a referral to perinatal mental health services at my meeting, which is a very positive step in my journey of recovery. Knowing that my experience is contributing to positive changes has brought some comfort. By sharing my story here, I hope other women — especially those being induced or feeling unheard — feel more prepared, more empowered, and more confident advocating for themselves.